


Ianto's Clan - Walter part 14

by AwatereJones



Series: Walter Verse [20]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Angst, Comedy, F/M, Gen, M/M, Smut, Stupidity, True Love, a wee bit of cross dressing, definately silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2018-12-03 00:38:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 70
Words: 37,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11520867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwatereJones/pseuds/AwatereJones
Summary: Walter is 17, the others as grown-up as him and they are flying the nest. Ianto is watching his retirement loom like the bloody grim reaper and he wonders if a mid-life crisis should be right about now. Shame because there is no time for one as the Gods do their usual shyte. At least there is Jack, his comfort helps. I Love my crumbly xx Don't like don't read Smut comedy lovexx





	1. Chapter 1

Ianto checked his list one more time before walking out to his son who stood waiting patiently for him. This was a hard day for them all, not least of all Walter.

"Tad?" he said softly his seventeen year old body now equal to Ianto in height and size. "You OK?"

"Yeah, just..." Ianto shrugged, his black suit stark in the bright afternoon sun as he hugged his handsome young man and Walter smiled as he returned the hug, wishing there was something more he could do to comfort him.

"Do you think we did him proud?" Ianto said softly, his breath soft against Walter's earlobe.

"Yeah" Walter pulled back and smiled as he let his hands rest on his father's shoulder, "We did. Stephen deserved it, it was a wonderful seeing off."

Ianto sighed and turned to the one who really needed comfort, Jack's shoulders slumped as he stood staring down the end of the driveway where his son had last been seen as the sleek car had slid out of sight to take him to his destiny. Ianto walked over and slid his hand into Jack's.

"Hey."

Jack turned and smiled wanly. "All gone."

"Soon." Ianto sighed, "Nearly all my chicks soon enough."

Walter and Babs was due to fly out that weekend to start a press junket for the new season that would last several months and although Ianto would have loved to tag along Ton would not have lasted with the stress of so many new things. The Grandys had happily gone along with Skidmark eagerly packed and already counting the hours. They were international stars now. Shooting through the entertainment world. Out of his control.

Stephen had gone.

His own life unfolding as the air force academy accepted him into their ranks and now Jack stood with a feeling of loss he couldn't quite explain but knew his beloved understood.

The last year seemed to have flown, the babies had come and the retirement of both men settled into a strange routine of Jack becoming the village handy man as Ianto started to write more children's books about their life that were taking off as best sellers as well.

Ianto turned back to watch Ton slide along the side of the house, his tears spent as he had ragged at Stephen for 'abandoning' him and now his remorse was evident. Ianto sighed as he kissed Jack's knuckles then left him to his misery and moved to comfort his other sweetling.

It would be a full bed tonight.


	2. fly away

Ianto stepped off the plane both exhausted and relieved, the flight too long for a wee man in a big body. Ton roared as he took off and Ianto sighed as he watched Jack race after him, Ianto too stiff to help.

Ianto turned to corner to chaos as Jack and Ton wrestled on the floor, two airport security on top.

"OI!" he riared, instinctively racing to save his baby as he pulled a man off, "He's special needs, please leave him alone, he's just naughty."

Finally, and three more security later, there was more organized chaos as Ton stood wailing into his Taddy's chest and Jack glowered at everyone present, his lips turned back as he tried to protect his baby.

"Taddy!" Walter was running towards them, a look of glee as he ran through the security and embraced Ton and Ianto, "Oh god, I thought you would never get here."

The cameras following him tempered the mood of the security officers who suddenly stepped back and Ton continued to wail, now clutching his lovely brother as he pointed at the security and called them meanies.

"Ton, stop it" Walter laughed, "It's their job. Like Daddy was a police man, these are special police men for the airport. It's their job to make sure everyone behaves. Were you being naughty?"

Ton nodded, "I ran."

"Well, they didn't know you are special and love to run" Walter soothed as he hugged him, "You big silly billy. They might have thought you were a terrorist or going to hurt someone. It's not like you wear a shirt with 'special needs' on the front. You look all grown up and normal to people."

"I am normal" Ton huffed back.

"Tonny man. You are many things" Walter crooned, "But normal is too boring even for you to pretend."

Ton sighed as he agreed, wishing Badger could have come.

He would have bitted those meanies.


	3. birds in the hand

Apparently there was a TV show thing on in town and Ianto held Ton's hand tightly as they stood in the elevator, his eyes bugging out at the drag queens in the elevator.

"So pretty" he said softly to one, "Like a dolly."

"Why think you precious" the lady turned and Ianto felt himself blush as RuPaul herself looked at the young man who was openly staring.

"I love your hair, so big and wonderful" Ton gushed, "Taddy has hair like that but it's red, right Taddy?"

Ianto smiled softly, "Yes love, I do. I have my Lucy hair."

RuPaul canted her head at the sweet looking young man and that lithe figure of a man holding his hand, "Welsh? Oh my goodness, I love your voice."

"Taddy can sing too" Ton gushed, "He sings on Walter's albums. Him and Babs."

"Babs?" RuPaul said slowly, then her eyes widened, "Oh my god. Harkness-Jones?"

"My children" Ianto said calmly as he bowed to the gorgeous drag queen, "Walter is mine by paternity and Babs is adopted."

The elevator doors opened and another drag queen entered, looking RuPaul up and down then snuffing as she turned her back to stare at the doors.

"She has a nice bum too!" Ton said loudly, "Taddy, does she have a nice bum? I think it's bouncy like your one when you wear the pants Daddy got you with the squishy bits.'

"Oh my gods" Ianto sighed, "The glory of having children is knowing you will never have any respect again."

RuPaul laughed, her teeth flashing and as the doors opened again the other drag queen turned to address them, "At least you know when to be a man about it. Anyone who forgets their dick swings might as well cut it off!"

They stood in shocked silence as the door closed and then RuPaul's face changed to one of anger as she turned to those with her, "Who the fuck does she think she and why is that raggedy bitch in my competition?"

"Taddy?" Ton asked and Ianto groaned, "Babs has her dick. Will she cut it off?"

RuPaul swung back to look at them, "Oh honey. Being a girl is not about the outside. It's all about the inside."

"Good, because Babs is a girl ya know, just different packaging" Ton told them all, "She is pretty, right? My sister?"

"Babs is the prettiest girl in the entire world love" Ianto assured his son, then he looked at the drag queen again.

"You performing here?" he asked and RuPaul nodded, "Right. Good thing I packed my good frocks for the pride parade at the weekend. I think I will need one before then."

Ianto seethed as he decided it was time to remind his children that beauty comes from the inside out.

RuPaul looked excited as she saw a bitch fight.

The Welsh are such goers.


	4. reveals

The queens were all sitting at their counters applying makeup when RuPaul swished in, followed by Walter and Babs.

The place melted down as they all gushed and flapped with excitement, Walter kissing hands and cheeks as Babs gushed over the bling.

Ianto stood back, unnoticed. He made a point to speak to each queen, taking mental notes and seeing the way they reacted to not only him but his children.

Then came time for the reveals and the lovely women strutted their stuff and then stood waiting for critique.

"Today we have special guest judges here, the Harkness-Jones siblings, gorgeous aren't they?" RuPaul turned to the angelic looking Babs who sat next to the handsome mocha man that looked like he was made of pure milk chocolate. "God, both look so edible."

The queens clapped excitedly and cheered.

Then a magnificent creature wafted out to stand behind Walter's chair, her gloved hand resting on his shoulder as he absently reached back to pat it. She wore a tight figure hugging dress with rhinestones on and such a low dip at the back they could see the dimples at the base of her spine showing that booty was real, no padding required baby. RuPaul's makeup team had worked wonders and Ianto knew Jack was going to be impossible to control when he got close enough to grab at him. Her wig was blonde, done within an inch of its life and she looked like Marilyn Monroe crossed with Jessica Rabbit, sexy and killer in the five inch heels.

"Oh, and this divine creature" RuPaul waved a hand at her, "But you've already met her. This is Yan."

Ianto sat pertly on a stool at the end of the judge's table and crossed his legs, letting the dress slide back to reveal those shapely legs and more than one queen sighed softly at the divine photo-like pose.

"You see girl, hidden beauty can shone too. Yan?" RuPaul said happily, "You want to address my girls?"

"Thank you" Ianto breathed, "I have been watching you all, noting things and have come to the conclusion that some of you are as perfectly attuned to your inner bitch as me."

Laugher.

"Also, a few of you are as special and angelic as my lovely daughter Babs" Ianto gushed gently and now the queens hushed with shock as the man in the dowdy suit earlier suit outshone them, "I would like to remind you all that there is a difference between being a man in a frock, and being a queen. My daughter is a queen in spirit and in taste. Also in manners. As a famous person once said, beauty comes from the inside. Right RuPaul?"

RuPaul shrieked with glee as she was catchphrased, looking at her girls as she watched one particular queen blanch.

Guess who was going home bitches!


	5. Dancing Queen

After taping Ianto considered removing the makeup but when he looked in the mirror e saw such a sweet look from his husband adoring him from across the room and he reconsidered. If he didn't feel comfortable walking around the village like this, maybe here he would. After all, if he offended anyone who gives a shit, right?

"I'm hungry" he said loudly, "I need feeding bitch!"

RuPaul laughed and agreed, "I know just the place, come on. I need food too, that bitch left a sour taste in my mouth with all that fake crying."

"Well she was a bit of a diva" Ianto fluttered his eyelashes as RuPaul laughed some more, really enjoying this new friend.

Walter was watching his Dad, the way his eyes were following his Tad and realised they hadn't played in a long time. It was nice to see he was still in love with him.

They piled into the stretch Limo and Babs played with the buttons as everyone scolded her, her look of glee letting them know she didn't give a damn as she asked her parents if her lizards were OK.

"Bethy misses you like mad, reads to them every night and holds your photo up to say goodnight" Ianto promised, rolling his eyes as he forgot the lashes and everyone laughed.

Jack exited first, helping RuPaul out with a kiss to a dainty hand, then reaching back in for his love. Ianto slid out with the air of mystery and poise of a princess, caning his head for a kiss to the cheek as camera flashes went off and he looked a the paparazzi with surprise then decided to go with it, sashaying along beside RuPaul and posing, Walter sliding in between them with his face glowing, the pride oozing from him as his Tad held everyone in his light.

People called out and Walter answered, "This is my Tad. We just came from a taping of Ru's show. Isn't he gorgeous?"

More hooting and clapping as Ianto popped, letting them see his cheekbones as he posed for them and twirled, amazing even himself in those heels as his past weaknesses seemed to take a holiday. Jack was enamoured.

They went on and Ianto let the white faux fur stole slide from his shoulders and as Jack caught it he looked at all the scars on Ianto's back in plain view and felt so much affection then he leaned in and kissed him, thanking any god who might be listening for this creature in his life.

The next day the magazines would have this photo, this display of love as it showed Ianto coyly looking down as he felt lips, accepting the affection with a grace that made them look like movie stars.

Walter declared it his favourite and demanded copies from the photographer who was shocked and proud when Walter publically announced through his blog that this photographer captured true beauty with his lens.

The man was assured work, and an inside tip to many photo ops in the future.

As they cruised though their visit with the kids Jack and Ianto continued to spread the message of equality.

Even without realising how many they touched.


	6. below the belt young missy

At first Ianto thought he had misheard his daughter so he paused and turned to look at her and raise an eyebrow to show his confusion.

"You acted like a Queen but they have spun it to sully me" she threw the tabloid down, "For goodness sake Tad! Walt and I are over here trying to spread the brand and ensure our show is picked up this side of the ditch and you come over acting like some common bloody cross-dresser!"

Ianto blinked.

"Here we are going to be on Entertainment Tonight this week and I know they will only be asking if I got my flare for dresses from you" she continued to rant angrily as her Harkness-Foot-in-Mouth kicked in, "This is not a game. This is not a choice. I am me. This is me. Tad, I don't mind that you and Dad like to play dress-up but it is not a game for me. You have just made it a thing."

"Babs you know it was just a bit of fun. You were there egging me on, remember?" Ianto said softly, wishing Jack were there and not with Walter in another room, "I was just ..."

"Tad, I just want to have a moment" she growled, "I have to think of responses to possible questions I didn't want to have thrown at me. Gods! Papa would have been a better choice, I should have invited him!"

Ianto was mortified as he had not considered the ramifications of his lifestyle and now the sight of his daughter more upset with him than angry hurt. Man it hurt. He went from feeling righteous to shitty in one resounding thump as he fell from the pedestal he thought she had him on.

He quietly walked through to the other room where Walt and Jack were going over notes for the ET show.

"Hey Tad, think they will ask if I am LBGT too?" Walt joked as he shook a tabloid at his Tad, "Maybe I need a t-shirt that says 'I am the normal one' or something?"

Jack scolded their son softly as Ianto smiled and kept walking through to the room he and Jack shared, finding his other son laid out on the bed sighing forlornly as he held a picture of Mister Badger against his chest.

"OK Tonny?"

"Badger was asleep" he was told morosely, "He missed or phone call."

"Oh darling, I am sorry" Ianto slumped, not feeling able to please anyone today. "I miss home too. Apparently I am not so good at this place either."

"Well, we should go home then" Ton said sulkily, "They don't need us."

Ianto sighed as he was forced to agree.

Home sounded good.

Joneses were good at running.


	7. no backsies

Jack found Ianto quietly packing, his face determined as he told Jack he was taking Ton home because he was pining for his dog. Although Jack sensed something had happened and as usual he had missed it, he gently agreed and helped pack before he went out to the main room and told the children.

Walter was confused "But I thought we still had you until the weekend. We were going to see a show, remember?"

"Tad is ready now" Jack sighed, "Tonny is fed up and missing Badger and I suspect Tad's back is killing him without his special mattress."

"The heels didn't help" Babs snarked as she stormed into the room and went to the small kitchenette in search of something to eat.

Jack frowned at her, "Babs? Did you say something to upset him by any chance?"

She spun to look at him, "What?"

"Babs?" Walter knew that furtive look and frowned, instantly calling her out as she could never lie to him. Not her beloved brother.

"I just pointed out that we are not here for a bloody party this is not a working holiday" she pouted, "This is serious and I wasn't happy with all his coverage in drag."

"Three or four pics?" Walter spluttered, "Where he looks bloody brilliant? Do you have any idea what it did for his self-esteem to be looked at like that? The comments? The way he has been embraced? Not one single troll. Well. Not in the press anyway. This photo of Dad and Tad out to dinner is going on my bloody wall!"

Babs looked at her father for support but Jack was moving to the other room as her Grandy sighed softly on the sofa.

"Honey, you are so much like Jack sometimes it's a wonder you can remember lines" Eugene said softly, "I still cannot believe you are not blood. You know this is the first time he wore a gown socially when not a dress-up party let alone on a TV Show. Ianto had never, NEVER shown that side in front of me or his other Dad. Do you have any idea how proud of you he is? He crows for you, not himself. This was never about him getting press coverage you silly girl, he hates every single photograph of himself in and out of Drag."

Babs sighed as she looked to Walter and saw she had been childish again, something she had hoped to have grown out of and Ianto walked out with the small bag for his medications, heading to the fridge to pack them as well.

"Now?" Walter said sadly, "You are leaving now? I thought maybe in the morning Taddy."

"This is your time" Ianto smiled softly as he walked over and hugged his son, "I am so proud of you. I need to let you go, I only ever wanted you to shine. My lovely star. It's OK. I still have Ton. I will always have him to fuss on. I have to accept you children are grown and gone, my job done there."

"Never" Walter sighed as he held his lovely Tad tightly, "I will always need you Taddy. You gave me life, you protected me, loved me and sacrificed for me. You taught me ho to be a man. I will always need you to guide my light. What is a Star if it cannot shine for someone? I only shine because you are my power Taddy."

Ianto kissed Walter and stroked his face lovingly, "My son. My one true son. Gods. At least I got one thing right, yeah? Your mother would have been proud."

"And the wee fella, Ifan mark II" Walter reminded him, the baby waiting back in the village with his two mothers, "You have him too."

"But you were my first", Ianto sighed softly, "You know I did everything for you, right? And I need to you to know it was worth it. Every fight, every knock back, every tear I have cried. You. You were worth it. Now go shine Walter. Taddy has to go. Maybe Babs' father can come over for a while, I am sure John will be a lot more fun than me and your Dad."

Walter turned to glare at his sister as she squirmed.


	8. home for cuddles

****

Thankfully Ton had slept most of the flight, as had Jack and they made it home in one piece, Ianto's dreams about falling from a great height plaguing him.

James was there at the airport to kiss them hello and goodbye as he boarded his flight over to join his husband and the children, telling them the place was fine and John was pining for them worse than the bloody dog, Ianto finally smiling as he smelt home.

The village looked cleaner somehow. Shiny. Ianto knew it was just that absence making the heart fonder thing but he was happy to scamper to see the wee cherub, his wee squeals of glee when he heard his voice a real boost.

Charlie handed him over, "That wife of mine will be pissed she missed you, gone on a photo shoot with the local paragliding crew. Ah, look. He has missed you."

Ianto hummed as the little one clung to him, the wee face full of joy as he pouted for a kiss and Ianto obliged, rubbing the little back and producing a teddy bear with the wee star spangled banner style suit on.

"Hello Imp" Ianto whispered and Ifan squealed happily at the pet name of his initials, Ifan Marcus Palmer.

"He's not been this happy for days" Charlie sighed, "Bloody teeth."

"Perfect" Ianto crooned to his son, "Soooo perfect, yeah you are. Yeah. Sweetling. Awwwww, Mumma's Teddy bum squishy. Yeah."

Ifan cuddled against Ianto, sighing with contentment as one of his favourite people loved him and Charlie rose, kissing Ianto on the forehead before moving to the kitchen, "Actually it is so good you are back. I was going to ask Chrys and John to take him on Saturday but since you are back will you? We have been invited to a sky diving afternoon. Some great shots, a bit of adrenalin and such. Apparently even a hot air balloon ride might be in the offering. I love those, great photo ops. Bobby is so excited."

"Of course" Ianto smiled, feeling so useful again as dribble soaked though his shirt.

Not that he minded.

Perfect, this one.


	9. Ton reads your comments ya know!

Imp was watching his Taddy as Ianto cut Ton's sandwich and Ton sat watching the wee Imp with open interest.

"His nose is like yours" Ton pointed out.

"And yours" Ianto smiled, "He's our little boy. Look, he's got that same wee ear me and Walter have, you too."

Ton looked at the way one ear has a little fold on it and felt his own, considering the fact this baby was a part of his Taddy. A part of him too?

"You look handsome today" Ianto said as he placed the sandwich in front of his son and settled with a bottle for the little one.

"Meeting" Ton said happily "Daddy is taking me. We gonna go over the script for the play."

"Ah" Ianto nodded, "You still need a cowboy hat for that don't you. Did you try the ones me and Daddy have?"

"I want a black one" Ton explained, "Daddy sez he will get one later."

"Good old Daddy" Ianto smiled, Ton watching the millk disapear in the bottle.

"Hungry" Ton said softly, "Are you hungry Impy Bum?"

A little hnd reached for Ton and he did what he saw his Taddy do a hundred times, leaning over to kiss it and Ianto felt such a rush of love. His babies loving each other.

"Chys' baby shat everywhere" Ton said conversationally and Ianto groaned, knowing this image was stuck for a while as Ton had woken to find the house in an uproar as the peaches had not gone through a tiny tummy as well as they had hoped and John was shrieking as he pulled at his PJs, Chrys scolding him for acting like a child as Ianto calmly walked past his bedroom door holding out the shit covered baby.

"Babys do that" Ianto said softly, "You did too. You shat all over your Pappa Gray. It was horrible and your Mama was laughing so much she couldn't help. He rang me to ask how to get the smell out of the room."

"I was't here?" Ton was surprised.

"No darling, Mama and Pappa had you, loved you and you only came here sometimes, like Imp does" Ianto smiled, "But then they died. You were my blood so you came to me forever. I was so happy, I love you so very much, my special boy."

Ton considered, knowing the car accient that took his family was what made him Taddy and Daddy's son, not nephew. Sometimes it was hard to remember, since he was really theirs. Ton knew it didn't matter, after all Babs was Papa John's and Mama Chrys' but not. It's how love is. It's not where you come from, it's who loves you.

"Imp is ours too" he finally decided, "They can have him but he is ours too."

Ianto smield as he patted Tons' shoulder, "Well done, you are dead right."

Ton's eyes slid to the side as he considered, "Dead is right. When they die he will live with us too."

Ianto's smile faded as he heard Tons' words, watching as Ton leaned over to kiss the little hand again and he looked at the clock, suddenly alarmed.

He thought he was the only one feeling impending doom today.

Those words seems so final the way he said them.


	10. Shat on it

Bobby was laughing as she accepted her son, kissing his wee face and then leaning over to kiss Ton who smiled sweetly as he told her Impy hadn't shat anywhere and had been a good baby.

"Ton" Ianto scolded, "Good lord!"

"Still the word of the day then?" Charlie chortled from her chair as Ianto rolled his eyes.

"Some days I could brain Owen" he assured her, "Every time he comes to visit Ton gets a new word to needle me with. This one has been three days already. Gods."

"I can't wait for Impy to be a little trouble maker" Bobby said softly, her hands stroking the soft curls as her son slumbered against her chest, Ianto's little pout in full effect on his face.

"With us for family it probably won't be long" Ton warned her with a serious look and a wagging finger, "All pirates us, just ask Babs. She'll tell you. Pirates."

Charlie giggled softly and held her arms out, Ton shuffling over for a cuddle as she whispered to him that he was the worst pirate of all and his wriggle of glee made Ianto's' heart melt. That Ton liked Imp was a huge thing for him, a delight he couldn't describe and although he would never admit it, if Ton had rejected the baby Ianto would have been loyal. He would have measured each small moment with him with excruciating pain and then left him behind each time to follow his best boy.

Ton is first.

"Ifan, are you filling your nappy?" Charlie whispered, "Oh my god. Ton, he is doing it."

"Oh Goddess in a Roller coaster" Ton craned his neck to see the little face turning red as the baby grunted with his eyes narrowed. "Looks that way aunty. He's shat himself for sure. Put that in the book!"

Now everyone had the giggles as Ton pointed at the Baby Care Book wanting them to document the bowel movement. Ianto picking it up and pretending to write with aplomb, "Today Ifan Marcus moved his bowels at....time?"

Ton swung to examine the clock on the wall "Ah...Little hand on three, big one on the nine. Nine is a quarter, right? Quarter to. So....quarter to three?"

"Well done" Ianto nodded, his heart bursting with pride as his son got it right, "Today Ifan Marcus moved his bowels as quarter to three as witnesses by his parentals and..."

"The Toninator"

Ianto looked over the glasses on the edge of his nose and Charlie motioned at Ianto, who shrugged and actually wrote the entry, now something they would look back at with fondness... "And the Toninator."

Ton leaned over to watch the baby as he relaxed, job done.

"You know, one day you will use the throne room and when you do you have to remember stuff. I will help you with that, I'm your brother you know. I know how to take a dump all by myself but Tad says I shat myself at your age too so no shame mate. No shame."

Ianto covered his face with the book as he struggled not to laugh and the women both awwwed at Ton with delight.

Seems Imp was growing on him.


	11. Helmets are cool

Walter sounded so far away, and he was.

"So, next Thursday we fly to Seattle, Gods" Walter sighed down the line, "I will be glad when this is over."

"Me too, I miss you" Ianto smiled as he wiped the bench top, listening as Walter clunked about his end, "What are you doing Walty?"

"Room service just brought the meal I ordered, they are setting the table" Walter replied, then yelled for Babs, "She's just in the other room getting ready for bed. I'll hand you over while I wash my hands."

"No, you go eat love" Ianto said softly, "have a good sleep and remember Grandy needs to get that fridge magnet for Ton."

"She is coming, just drying her hair" Walter said as he sighed again, knowing Ianto was signing off.

"I love you" Ianto said sadly, "Kisses. Don't forget to say goodnight to Mama Lisa in the stars love."

Ianto closed the phone as he heard Bab's voice entering the room, her annoyance at being called clear from her tone.

Ianto had finished the morning dishes and he now sat and worried about the amount of time those kids had been away, how many more appearances before they could come home and he worried if they were eating properly. Room service was always greasy.

Ton exploded into the house with his usual declaration, "TON IS HOME!"

"Hi love, feet" Ianto said without looking up from the magazine he was flicking through.

"Oops" Ton turned and wiped his feet, then re-entered the kitchen "Taddy? Can I go hot ballooning with the aunties?"

"Huh?"

Ianto looked up and saw Charlie and Bobby entering, the wee bub awake and squealing for his Tad.

"We have another photo shoot, a wedding party" Bobby said happily, "I thought Ton might like a go."

"Ton?" Ianto asked, "Do you want to go?"

"Yep" Ton grinned, "No jumping, right?"

"Right, not a sky dive" Bobby agreed as she handed the baby to who he wanted, Ianto laughing as little hands clutched at him gleefully.

"Ahhhh, an exchange is it?" Ianto said happily, "I can have this one if I give you that one?"

"Yep" Ton said again, this time scratching his belly as he wondered what you wear hot air balloon flying.

"OK" Ianto said without a second thought, "Fair swap."

Ton took off with delight thinking he might need a hat too.

Ianto hefted Ifan onto his shoulder, "Someone is getting heavy."

"Yep, in the wee PJs you got him in America with the teddies on them" Bonny said happily, "I will send some pics through later."

"Oh wonderful" Ianto gushed, "The minute I saw them I knew he would look like a wee button!"

"You big softie" Charlie said as she poked him, "here's Chrys?"

"Her and John are house hunting in the village" Ianto said with such a look of disinterest that has both women glancing at each other, he was clearly upset about it.

"Oh, want more room?"

"Yeah, they want to have their own home, a proper home for the stink now he is starting to crawl" Ianto sighed, "end of an era. My family seems to be flying apart."

Ton came running into the room with a top hat and a Viking Helmet.

"I can't decide" he told his father, "Which one looks better with my red wellies?"

Ianto blinked and then smiled as his mood changed, Ton lighting up his world as always.

"The helmet son. When in doubt, go for the helmet."

"Thought so" Ton said with a nod of agreement, going off the hunt out those wellies.

The adults all sniggered softly.


	12. here it is

Ton had been ready bright and early, the picnic lunch Ianto provided them with a hit as both women gushed with the lovely thought.

Ianto was happy though, swapping his big boy for his miniature and he now sat with Ifan on his shoulder humming softly. Jack was with John and Chrys checking the house they were interested in, just three doors down the lane so they could put a gate in the back fence to come across the field to Ianto if they wanted. He hoped they would, that when wee Harley was bigger he would eagerly run across to play with his forever friend Ton.

And wee Ifan here.  He will need friends.

He must have drifted, jolting in the chair and coming to his feet with his heart pounding.

Ifan slept on in the patch on sun on the floor with a cat cuddled against him, a chubby hand full of fur as he cuddled his furry friend. He was rolling now and would soon be crawling too, his face one of bliss.

Ianto didn't know what had woken him but he was on edge now, reaching for his phone without a second thought and hitting the number he knew by heart.

It rang.

And rang.

"Taddy?"

"Ton? Are you OK?" Ianto asked gently.

"Yes" he said and Ianto flopped back in the chair feeling silly for panicking like that, must have been a dream lingering in the ethos, "Taddy?"

"Yes my love."

"Can you come get me?" Ton asked "It's getting cold and no one has any food, I'm hungry."

"What about the picnic?"

"It's locked in the car" he huffed "I can't get it."

Ianto frowned, "You are not with the aunties?"

"No, they went up."

"Ah. Well, when they come back they will open the car love" Ianto reasoned as he checked the baby was warm by placing a hand on a wee bare leg.

"No. They went up. Like WHOOOOOOOOSHHHHH" Ton said making an exploding noise that had Ianto freezing in place, a hand on his son. "There was a lot of fire and people shouting, they are all running about like...what is it you say when Babs is going off on one....chooks with their heads cut off."

"Ton, I need you to focus" Ianto said calmly, "Did the aunties go in a balloon that has caught fire?"

"Yes. The wind went whooo and there was shouting and they went up, up, up and into the power lines and there was bad noises and stuff. Lots of fire. It's all quiet now though. Just cold. Can I come home?" Ton was calm because Taddy was calm, that meant it was all OK. Right?

I am coming love, just need to put Ifan in a wee travel suit, OK? Stay by the car." Ianto swallowed as his son hummed happily, relieved that Taddy was fixing it.

Ianto took a moment to weep, then a deep breath.

His son was waiting for him.

Well.

They both were.

And you were waiting too.


	13. home

"About thirteen percent of hot air balloon accidents are line strike" Ton was saying as he held his tablet up, "Apparently, if this is right eighty percent of fatal deaths are from fire or falling. Huh."

"Ton, please stop reading that" Ianto asked as he turned the vehicle for home, leaving the accident scene with a sense of betrayal as he knew he was leaving his friends back there in those body bags still on the round but right now his main concerns sat in the back side by side.

"Tad?"

"Darling."

"They are dead now."

"Yes" Ianto said as calmly as he could, making sure his voice was even, "They have gone to Bets and Herb."

"Oh" Ton considered, "So, what happens now?"

"We go home and have a feed, you are hungry"

"Yes please" Ton said happily, turning to look at wee Ifan, "Are you hungry Imp?"

Ianto pulled up the driveway to park and found Jack there waiting, a look of mild annoyance and he slapped himself as he could clearly see his stupid husband had not checked his messages.

"You didn't check your phone" Ianto said as he slid from the SUV, Jack opening the side door to remove the baby without a second thought, his face softening as he found the wee man awake and happy to see him.

"Dropped it in the fish pond"

"Fishâ€¦.OK" Ianto took a breath and watched Chrys walk across the field. "They are taking it then?"

"Yep, moving in at the weekend, has been empty too long so the next few days will be..."

"Bobby and Charlie are dead" Ton interrupted, "The Hot Balloon thing exploded, are you staying for lunch?"

Jack blinked.

"Go wash up" Ianto said as a Heddlu vehicle crawled around the corner, "Me and Dad have to talk to Gwen and Andy."

After a short conversation when he confirmed he knew, Ton was OK and he had the baby, they beat a hasty exit. A lot to do now for everyone.

Ianto walked into the house and found Jack in the chair with a pale face, cuddling the baby possessively as he struggled not to cry. Ianto just couldn't find the energy, picking up the phone to call their family lawyer instead.

As he sat in the office, the silence calming him he knew he had to ring the kids and he really didn't want to. The fax hummed as the papers from the lawyers came through and he signed, resending immediately to ensure this would not become a bum fight.

He was legally the father, he was assured interim custody until things could be sorted and he knew Ifan was going nowhere, the lawyer also handing Charlie and Baby's wills as they had met him during the Babs saga. Although he did not say it outright, he made sure Ianto held the baby and made him promise not to let anyone come take him for a 'cuddle' somewhere else.

Ianto knew.

They had argued about it.

Jack and him were listed as next of kin executors of the will and as Godparents were also listed as who was to raise Ifan in the event of this very thing happening.

Really.

He just thought it would be Bobby's driving that would get them in the end.

.

.

.

.

.

Some of you have asked about where I live...so if you look up the website...Arthurspass dot com...this is the national park area my little town lives on the edge of. You will see what I see every day. Weather, earthquake info and some of our native flora and founa and stuff. Tramping in summer and skiing in winter are main tourist draws. The South Island is basically just a large national park area with some towns splatted about and the North Island is the business hub. I love the wild West Coast and would live nowhere else. xxxx


	14. old boxes in the back of my mind

Jack was manning the phone as Ianto wraithed through the room to find Ton waiting for his food.

Of course.

The show must go on.

Ianto made spaghetti and placed it down with the toast under it, the way Ton liked it and he sat to watch Ton inhale his food like a machine. Jack poked at his with a fork as he spoke and his eyes shifted to Ianto as he motioned, did he want to talk to them?

Ianto shook his head and rose to check the baby, then watched Idris roar into the driveway and explode from the vehicle leaving Gene to get their wee girl out, her screams of glee loud.

"Christ, she is louder than ever" Idris said as he entered and toed off his shoes, "Started from the round-a-bout. Toto?"

"Here"

Ianto allowed the crushing hug and took some comfort as Idris handed him off to Gene who held his brother more gently, their love flowing as they held each other for a while with Neve between them.

"What is it with you and death?" Gene whispered after a while.

"I've already been in touch with George, Ifan is staying here" Ianto replied as he pulled back and smiled weakly as he took his neice, "What is it with me and child gathering, eh"

Jack had finished his call and sat back to watch Ianto pull himself together and start making coffee. Manny came in and started unpacking groceries and a lovely loaf his wife had made, some slices and then the baking really started.

Ianto's face showed his despair as yet another state of mourning began in his home. Neve had calmed down once she had her cuddles and Ianto was reminded of Aurora and her need for cuddles. Another lost love. Gods, how maudlin. Ianto found comfort in the little arms hugging him tightly as she babbled way about the ride over, her eyes wide as she asked where her favourite person was, Ton roaring in to seize her and run off with her under his arm like a sack of potatoes as she squealed with glee, dogs following.

"I need more things for Ifan" he suddenly said as he rose and headed out the door, Jack wanting to follow but knowing why he couldn't. Not now.

Ianto stood in the cosy wee house and looked around, his mind calculating the time and effort needed to pack all this up, fold this love away and consign more people to the remembrance table.

Ianto sat in his chair and started to cry, deep jagged wails as he looked at the spot where the birthing pool had leaked into the stained wood floor and forever marked it.

Ifan was born here.

Ianto had known good friends here, had revelled in their lives and had even talked with them about the possibility of more children.

Damn it.

The Gods were fickle bastards.

Ianto hated them all.


	15. Connie

"Hi" Connie said softly as she entered the room, "Taylor is examining those dogs out there, I think he wants one. Like we need one of those."

Ianto watched as she gathered the baby into her arms and clucked softly, feeling a tightening as he wondered if there was about to be a problem. Might they like one of these instead? Then she turned and handed him back, "I don't know how you do it. Just the thought of a child, depending on you like that is daunting. When we heard, we sat and just stared into space. Then Taylor pointed out that they would have made you the next in line, being his father and all. God, the relief. You are keeping him right? I mean, don't get me wrong I love my sister's wee fella but..."

"You have a busy life and don't want to seem selfish but you like your life as it is" Ianto agreed, "There is no shame in that Con. You know he will be spoilt rotten here, always be your nephew and you and that mad husband of yours can traipse around the world doing your docos knowing he is right here"

"Thank god" she grinned, "Babs is about?"

"I think she is outside with her Bethy" Ianto looked out the window and found his daughter standing in the side garden looking at him through the glass, her gaze one of sorrow, "Yeah. Out there."

"You two still not sorted things out?" she frowned, "Bobby was worried about that."

"I don't know how to" Ianto said as he fussed with the baby, "She's her own person and she has drawn a line in the sand that neither of us know how to deal with. This is one of those times where the Harkness-Foot-in-Mouth was fully engaged. John has a habit of seeing his faults too late too, maybe that's why he and Jack always got over their spats."

"John?"

"Babs' real father is John" Ianto looked up, "Chrys is her mother. Did you not realise that? Yeah. One big dysfunctional family."

"And now her real family are here you are getting pushed to one side?"

"We are her real family" Ianto snapped, then grimaced, "Sorry Con. That was rude. Yeah, she is more theirs now. Bound to happen. She made a comment to me about wanting her Papa John instead of me and I guess it smarts."

"I am sure she didn't mean it the way it came out" Connie frowned, "She always did have her crap filter in backwards."

"I know" Ianto shrugged, "I am trying to get over it but maybe I am just getting too old for that, Goddess knows she is too old for excuses when she acts like a little shit. She is a young woman now, she needs to start thinking for herself. Maybe that is just one of the things she wanted to make clear? I am not her father. Not her real one. She loves him more now."

"Oh Ianto, I am sure it's not like that" Connie soothed, rubbing his shoulder as she looked out to find the pretty blonde still standing there, now worrying at a hank of hair with her long fingers as her doppelganger approached.

"Something terrible has happened and if it should teach me one thing it's that life is too short to hold grudges" Connie advised, "You are the one telling me not to sweat the small stuff, remember?"

"Forgive her" Connie patted his arm and went to leave the room, "Then she might forgive herself."


	16. asking the question

Connie was glad of the help with the funeral arrangements, amazed at how efficient Ianto was and then she remembered why, her heart going out to him and all his sorrows.

"Some people collect stamps" Ianto said conversationally as if hearing her maudlin thoughts in that eerie way he has, "I seem to collect funeral notices."

"I am sorry" she sighed, "She was my sister but they were yours too."

"In the end, yes" Ianto looked up, his smile gentle, "Maybe I should stop loving too hard. Maybe it makes the Gods jealous?"

She smiled back, seeing him stronger now that he had spent the morning cloistered away with the baby, now he was firing on all cylinders. He seemed to need the mornings to prepare himself, like a god man going to war.

She hadn't realised how fragile he was, the stern suits always firmly in place and to see him slopping around in PJs and an old robe bemoaning Badger and his lost slipper made him suddenly human. She saw how lovely he was, like she had found an old toy down the back of the sofa and it was as new again.

"Babe?" Jack said softly, "You gonna sit down and eat something?"

"The flowers arrive in an hour" Ianto replied, "I wanna go check they are right. I will have a bloody shit on the bonnet of their car if I don't like them. I am not having anything piss me off today."

Connie choked on her glass of juice, her eyes dancing with humour as Taylor leaned back in his chair, and asked "Can I film it? For prosperity? When Imp is grown we can play it for him at his 21st, 'see Imp? When your mamas died your Daddy mourned in the old ways of the Welsh, handed down over the millennia. He shit on their carriage... kinda thing?"

Ianto screwed his nose up and poked his tongue at him as Babs entered, followed by Bethy.

"Taddy, where is the green dress with the matching slippers?" she asked politely and Ianto looked over her shoulder for a moment.

"In the hall closet" he finally sad, going back to buffing a shoe "A bit tight now."

"Bethy is smaller than me, she wants it" Babs said, moving closer, "Taddy? Are you OK?"

"Fine" Ianto replied without looking up, "You moving into the house with your parents then?"

Babs looked shocked at the question and looked at her Papa who was coming in with Harley on his hip, "You told him? We were going to wait."

"Huh?" he blinked with surprise, "Tell him what."

"That I would rather live with you."

Ianto dropped the shoe he had been polishing and rose to leave the room, his hurt so clear to everyone watching. Babs slumped as her words echoed on her brain and she realized what she had just said.

Damn.


	17. Ton's Answer

"If you want to change your name to Hart go right ahead too" Jack snarled as he rose to comfort his partner, "Ungrateful little shit. After all we did for you, you care so little for us. For him."

"It's not like that" John said with shock, "babs you said he OK'd it, that you spoke with him while you were away."

"I tried" she huffed, "He got all...embarrassing. Touting about with a wig on, tits and heels. I was so angry that he was making me look stupid. All the press wanted was him."

"Kiddo, the only one looking stupid is you" Connie said softly, "Really dumb right now."

Ianto sat on the bed with his eyes closed listening to his own heartbeat, trying to let it all slide away.

Arms slid around him and he smiled as Ton tired to cuddle in, moving his arms to accommodate and they both sat there in a hug.

"Did Babs say she is leaving us?" Ton asked softly, "She doesn't want to be my sister anymore?"

Jack sighed for the doorway, "No Ton, she didn't say that. She is very confused right now. There is a thing called hormones and when you grow up they get more, harder and you get times where you are stupid because of them."

"Well I don't want them then" he snorted, "I always want my Taddy, you are my Taddy. I always need you. I will never say I don't. I never want to leave."

"Oh Ton, I love you so much it's overflowing" Ianto sobbed "Wee Ifan is so lucky you are his bother because he gets all that love that you make in all of us. My darling sweetheart."

"Babs doesn't want to leave" Ton said after a while, "She is trying to make you tell her to stay. She is...er...challenging you. Like Badger with the last slice of pizza."

Ianto laughed softly into his son's hair as he considered.

Can it be that simple?

Babs is looking for reassurance?


	18. Ianto's bite back

Ianto found Babs out at his gazebo and he carried out the tea tray, placing it down and startling her. He poured a strong up of tea and settled, pushing the fruit slice at her, "Hattie was baking again and came to see the new one."

Babs took a morose bite, looking at her feet.

"So" Ianto sighed, "Ton is worried that you are not his sister anymore. That you have decided you are only Harley's."

He watched her balk and turn to look back at the house with open worry, the idea of hurting him hadn't occurred to her at all, let alone her Tad who now sat waiting for her attention again.

"He also tells me you are challenging me as your Tad. You want me to punish you, to forbid you from leaving and be your Taddy again, you feel too grown up and lost."

Babs kicked her feet as she shrugged.

"You know, you were still a baby yourself when Ton came along. So much has happened since and you adjusted to having him around because I simply told you that was how it is. It this different? Is it that you would rather by Harley's sister than your other bother's? Or is it that you are jealous of Ifan and don't want him?"

Babs was now staring at him silently, her emotion unreadable.

"I know you want to be Walter's sister. I know you love him. Fen. Ton." Ianto leaned back "But not Ifan? Am I not your Tad now? Do you not recognise me?"

"Taddy I..." she sighed, "I don't know. Maybe. It's all changed. Dad went off to work, you went down the village and us kids went to the studio. We had jobs, we have routines and we all came home to you waiting. We had Freaky Friday meals and fish and chip Saturday, roast on Sunday. We don't have any of that. Now Dad stays home, you go off to fuss on Ifan and..."

"Well that won't be a problem, with them dying now!" he growled, "Babs. You have always been a jealous little monkey haven't you. Always clung to me as your Taddy. You are a young woman. You are off doing your own thing. If you want to move in with your parents then go, but remember who your parents were once. Who fought for you, who raised you...raised you up, encouraged your own self. If you deny all of that, then you go do what you want and I shall remember little new born Noah who needed me, like Ifan does now."

Babs felt the verbal slap.

Of course she did.

She deserved it.


	19. Another attempt to fix it

Babs found her Tad in the study, a sleepy baby on his shoulder as he crooned.

"Taddy?"

Into turned to look at her and she looked over at the photo of Heck in his usual place, Herb and Bets beside it. Her Tad's special room. Stepping in she turned to close the door and came face to face with a life-sized cardboard cut-out. Of herself.

"He likes it" Ianto said softly as he lowered the baby to the desk that had a soft blanket laid on it for comfort and he began changing a wet nappy as Ifan's face lit up, his hands reaching for Ianto's hair as he leaned over to check his bum and the wee one squealed with glee.

"Stop it you wee beast" Ianto said distractedly and she slid closer, seeing the cot by the window and the baby things scattered about. She realised this was the day room for the baby now. Ifan saw her and froze, then squealed with glee as his hands reached for her, fingers opening and closing like he might grasp her.

"See?" Ianto sighed, "Loves the bones of you, poor wee bugger."

Babs felt tears as she saw the little boy's joy in her appearance, much more animated and excited than Harley when she entered the room, and she looked down at her Taddy's eyes the squeal almost deafening as he knew she would lean over to give him some hair to pull.

"I love you Taddy" she said softly, "I am so stupid. I was thinking of me again, myelf and all the things I was missing."

"You are only missing them because you are not here" Ianto replied, "They are still happening, for Ton they will always happen. It's Freaky Friday so Ton chose spaghetti and meatballs with pumpkin pie, gods I wish your Dad hadn't introduced him to those, then we watch some Vampire movie he wants."

"Things changed with him" she sighed, "But good things happened too. Of course this is good too, Taddy I am not jealous of Ifan, I guess I am just scared. I need you, I still do but it's like you don't need me. You have him and Ton to fuss on, I am on the sidelines."

"You are a silly mare" Ianto snorted, "I love you. My only daughter, how could I not? Am I not blonde when in drag? You think that is not for your benefit? How will you ever be a mama with Bethy if you don't learn how to love a baby, eh? Come on, finish dressing him and we will not talk of this stupid stuff. Next time I think your head is getting too big and your brain too small I shall simply tell you so. I should not have gotten so hurt, so upset. I should not have stormed off so upset and put you over my knee for a good slap Always gave into you, always let you slide. No more. Stop being a brat."

"Yes Taddy" she grinned as she gathered her baby brother up, his wee hands scrabbling against her neck.

The fist squeezing her heart had let go and she felt quite light headed.

Gods.

She was such a silly cow sometimes.

.

.

.

.

.

I know you are mad at her now but she has to work through this, like a lot of teenagers she is starting to question her own worth and Ianto can't help her with that internal struggle with hormones and the feels. She has to realise her place and purpose on her own, her poor Tad has enough on his plate right now. Besides. Ton is the first to tell you she is just being an idiot Babbit and it always took longer for Babbitty Bum to get a handle on some things.


	20. Badger forgives too

"I don't want to move out, I just don't want to be forgotten and alone" Babs explained to Ton, "I was stupid, thinking Taddy would not have time for me anymore. Really stupid."

"But I need you" Ton told her firmly, "You always help me get the right clothes, you know my gumboots and stuff. I never want you to leave me behind."

"I am sorry Ton" she cuddled him, "I think I went a bit nuts and selfish. I do that sometimes."

"Line?" Ton said softly, startling everyone and she laughed as she agreed.

"So, not moving out or stopping the titles for Taddy and me?" Jack asked, her look of chagrin enough for him to stop the growl in his voice, Ianto's hurt so much more important right now than hers so he pushed on with a softer tone, "Babs you want to be treated like a grown woman, start thinking like one OK?"

"On another note" she said, turning to her Tad, "We need to sort out rooms. Why does Ifan have Heck's room?"

Ianto blinked and then laughed, "Oh love. When John and Chrys moves out Ifan will have that room silly. He likes the sun coming into the study, he likes hearing the kids playing outside. Seems to need white noise to settle, probably from spending his growth in the womb on film sets and at photo shoots, helicopters and mad bloody noise everywhere. If it's too quiet he won't settle."

"Oh" she blinked "I didn't think of that."

"So you thought he would get your room?" Ton snorted, Don't be silly. Fen and Walt still have theirs, so do I. Imp will not steal our space. He is part of our space. Sometimes you are mad ya know. I'm glad I'm not a girl, you are all nuts."

Babs laughed as she agreed, "Yeah. Gods, I shall have to tell the lizards all about it, I think they will be disappointed in me too."

Ton looked down at Badger who sat with his head on one side, staring at Babs as he must feel her upset.

"Badger sez not to be disappointed. After a good meal and some sleep it will all be better" Ton said happily, "Badger Man swears by a feed and a snooze. He still loves you."

"Thank you Badger" Babs said softly, "And Ton. You are a wonderful brother."

"And I am your brother, don't forget that" he scolded as he hugged her, "Sill Babbity Bum. You always make things awkward, I am the one who had a weird brain but you do things so silly sometimes."

"I know" she sighed, "Must be the Harkness in me."

"Yeah" Ton sighed as Jack snarked with fake annoyance.

"Bloody kids, who would have them!" he spluttered.

"Me" Ianto said happily, "Every time."


	21. decisions and snorts

"I know what I want to be when I grow up" Ton said with that certain seriousness such a comment needed, "I have decided."

Ianto looked up from the book he was reading while Imp was asleep and found himself in the presence of a giant frog. The onesie Ton had on along with Biggles style goggles and a leather flight hat pulled down so the frog eyes on the hood of the onesie bugged out on his forehead, giving him the look of a weird alien being.

Ianto blinked. "A frog."

"No! Don't be silly Taddy Bum!" Ton roared with mirth, turning to his dog, "Did you hear that Badger Man? He thought I was gonna be a frog. Silly."

"No" he sat with a big whomp on the sofa and looked into his father's eyes with a serious stare, Ianto able to see the glasses framed inside the goggles. "I am going to be a toad."

Ianto struggled.

"Well. Thank the gods for that then" he finally said and Ton smiled.

"Yes, exactly" Ton grinned, "I am gonna be Mister Toad and me and Mister Badger Man will go on grown up adventures. I will drive of course."

"I see, since you have hands for that sort of thing" Ianto nodded, "He shall be good at helping with directions then."

Ton lit up, "I knew you would understand. When I am grown up I have to go on adventures with Badger, but we will always be home for tea. OK?"

"OK" Ianto nodded, "I shall try not to worry about the adventures. Pirates and sharks and stuff."

"You can never be too careful about sharks" Ton agreed, "Imp can come too. But he will have to sit in the back, Badger takes shotgun."

"Well of course, that's a given" Ianto said with a swallow.

Ton snorted, "But Imp can help carry the picnic. There will be a picnic, right?"

"Yes love, I shall make the picnic for you" Ianto promised.

"Good, good" Ton nodded, looking up at the ceiling as his little mind considered things, "My motor will be green and have big knobbly wheels so we can drive over to Rocky for the picnic. It will be sunny and we shall have to wear hats."

"Of course" Ianto agreed, "A real car?"

"Gods no, I shall run over too many gardens in a real one, look at how many you have crashed and you are a good driver. No. Like the Mayoral Motor I want one of those. But green. Froggy green...I mean Toad green" Ton explained, "We can go down to Manny's for fish and chips sometimes, even fetch the milk. Badger will be my horn if needed, he does like to yell at people in the pram but Imp doesn't share much."

Ianto blinked as he finally found out the dog has been riding with the baby, a snort of amusement escaping. Bloody Jack.

"You need to ask next door, the twins have grown out of their twin buggy we got them. Maybe Imp and Badger can share when you push them down for milk with Daddy."

"Ah!" Ton leapt up, the boogily froggy eyeballs wobbling on his head, "Brilliant! Come on Badger man, the game is on my foot!"

Ianto waited until they were gone before letting the laughter take over.


	22. a shock

Ianto wasn't sure if he wanted to look but finally it got the better of him and he opened the envelope, sliding the photos out onto the table.

He was alone.

Jack was at Manny's fixing a wonky shelf and Ton was assisting with Badger. Babs and Walter were at the house John and Chrys had now closed on, Stephen coming home at the weekend for a weekend furlong.

Really he should be changing the linens on Stephen's bed for him. He had dusting to do and there was still the little matter of an entire house sitting down the lane. Connie had been pleased when Ianto had offered it to her and Taylor to live in. It would be wee Ifan's now and if Connie made it her base when visiting it meant Ianto didn't have to find something to do with it. Just pack some things up and clean it.

Ton's gumboots were too small, he should be making a list for a ride into.....

Ianto sighed and picked up the stack of photos, steeling himself as he looked down at the first shot.

Ton.

The helmet on his head as he stood in a hero pose that was reminiscent of Jack, his glee framed by the hot air balloon behind him still on the ground filling. A lovely shot, a wonderful bright shot.

He knew that one needed a frame and he placed it carefully to one side, then took a moment to look at the next one. Bobby. Kneeling to look into the balloon with a camera in her hand as she laughed with Ton about something, his hands on his knees as he bent to look from her angle. The affection clear.

A good one that.

Ianto slid it to one side and looked at the next shot.

Charlie and Bobby. Ton must have taken it as it was slanted to one side, angled like Ton hadn't held the camera straight. Both women were looking up, must be a balloon above them or something as their hair streamed out with the sunlight forming halos.

Goddesses.

The picture went out of focus as tears fell and Ianto sobbed quietly, letting himself grieve. Then he decided that was the one for the remembrance table. That was the image he wanted the wee Imp to think of when he wondered about his mothers.

Angels.

Beautiful, full of light and life.

Then he looked at the photo of Ton in the basket, high above the ground with a stick pointing down like a wizard casting a spell.

Ianto made it to the loo before the vomiting began.

Ton had been in the balloon earlier in the day. He had flown. He could have been with them up there when....

Ianto leaned over as he vomited again.

He left the photos on the table, not even wanting to touch them to put them away.


	23. sorting it part 1

Babs was sitting on the seat looking over the graves, her dress blowing around her bare ankles.

"Getting a bit cold for bare feet love" Ianto said as he settled next to her. "Look, a lot has happened and now it's all dying down how about you and I speak together as adults? No tears, tantrums or catchphrases. Tell me what is going on with you."

Babs looked at him, her hands clasping her lap, shrugging as she tried to find the right words.

"OK" he said calmly, "I'll start. I love you. You. Formerly Noah Carlton Harkness-Jones. Babs Sweethart Harkness-Jones. Barbara. Babbitty Bum. Stinker. Maiden of the Wilding Woods. Mine."

She looked morosely at her feet, swinging them in the dirt.

"There is nothing you can ever do or say to change that, no matter how much you hurt me" he said and her head shot up to look at him, his gaze firm as he continued, "I think you are telling people what they want to hear, making excuses because you are afraid. What is it? You changing your mind about being a girl?"

"No" she frowned, "I am me."

"OK, tick that one off. So...you don't want to be Harkness-Jones? You want to be Hart?"

"No" her eyes widened with genuine horror.

"OK, tick that one off. You want me to act more like a man, less like a gaybo?"

Her face coloured and he knew he had hit the nail on the head.

"Someone said something? To your face or behind your back?" he leaned back to look over the flowers, "You not thinking you are wrong? If you marry Bethy will you be a couple or queers? Will you be a gaybo?"

"I hate that word" she said with a frown.

"I know you love me and Dad. And Papa. You know Dad and Papa had a thing once, rght? If not for that you might not be here either. Babs, loving someone does not make you a label. There isn't a stamp at the baby factory they slap on your forehead so people know what colour box to put you in for packaging ya know." He watched Ton race past making a weird noise with Badger silently stalking him through the headstones with a big stick on his mouth, some game that they had made up.

"I just...what if I am a boy dressing up" she asked, "What if I just think I am a girl because it feels right? Maybe it's wrong."

"Babs? Are you questioning your desire to be a woman? Is that even a real question?"


	24. sorting it part 2

"The protesters" Ianto realised where it had stated, "Those placards they held up saying you were wrong, that you would go to hell. This what is in your head? Baby girl, gods. Having two dads did not make you queer. Technically, if you want to be pedantic you are marrying Bethy, you have your boy parts and legally on paper you will be her husband. You will be a couple. You love her and she loves you, it makes no difference is you wear a suit or a dress. Gods, you know a lot of powerful men wore dresses when no one was looking. "

"Like who!" she asked.

"Well. Like Hoover" Ianto said, thinking, "Jaden Smith? Kanye West wears a skirt. And precise figures are difficult to obtain but research shows that in an average week, 100,000 in every 1,000,000 men dress ... for some of the time... in something soft, silky or frilly. Often they just wear a camisole and panties underneath their male clothes. Most cross dressers live in constant fear of being found out. Around a quarter of male transvestites have never dared share their secret with their wives. That means that around the world, millions of women are married to transvestites ... and don't know it. In every million women there will be around 25,000 who are unknowingly married to or living with transvestites.

But, on the whole, there is a huge difference between transvestites and transsexuals. The surveys made it absolutely clear that the vast majority of transvestites are heterosexual and happy to be men. I am happy to be a man, I enjoy my suits as much as my frocks. Your Daddy loves me as I am, no questions. Bethy loves you.

You are a girl because it's not about the dresses. It's about the heart inside you. Your soul is a girl. And if that is so, then you are technically gay. A gay woman in a man's body in love with another woman. Happy to keep her bits because they do not repulse or upset you like they must some. Baby, you are Babs. There is no factory setting, no instruction book and no backsies."

Babs laughed as she nodded knowing she should have just talked to him first and be done with. Of course Taddy was right. He always is.

"I just...I mean if we have kids...."

"Would they be gay or trans too?" Ianto sighed, "It's a lottery baby. Gods, Walter has my genes, might go either way. With his Dad's leering ways teaching him it doesn't matter I think he could come home with one of each and tell us he is in a monogamous relationship and your father and I would ask just about kids."

Babs snorted.

"Fen? I think he's straight. Ton here is Ton and loves everyone, including the tree he is hugging right now." Ianto laughed, "Wee Imp doesn't stand a chance and will probably became a monk to escape the pressure."

Babs laughed as she folded into her father's arms, so tired and sore from holding it all in.

"Babs, you are my daughter. I know this, knew it long before you did" Ianto whispered, "It's OK to be scared, to lash out and be a right twat but always remember I raised you right. Never question who you are. Don't' you dare ever question your place. Fight for it, scream and slash with your fingernails for it. Don't ever look down and question where your feet are planted. You are planted next to mine. We of this dirt."

Babs felt it all bleed away, her warm wonderful Taddy making it all go away.

Of course he was right.

He was her hero.


	25. high ground

Ianto was surprised, not in a good way either, when he opened the door to find Child Services on the doorstep with their clipboards.

"Good afternoon Mister Hark..."

"Doctor" Ianto snapped, defaulting as he always did to a superior attitude, putting them off their stride. As always. "Please come this way."

Ianto led them to the office and settled behind the desk, his diplomas and doctorates behind him on the wall as well as his book covers. He picked up his glasses for extra effect and leaned back, letting them clearly see that he was not intimidated. The baby boy asleep in the crib under the widow was unaware of the precarious moment in time as Ianto canted his head and smiled politely at the startled men.

"I take it this is the home visit to check the grief level of the child but as you can see my son is totally unconcerned. At the moment he is about..." Ianto looked up at the ceiling for a moment, then back at them with that unnerving smile again, "Ten to fifteen minutes away from demanding a feed. Hungry wee bugger."

Ton chose that moment to enter and thrust a peanut butter jar at his Taddy while eyeballing the two suits. Suits with clipboards are usually bad news. He didn't want any more bad news. It made Taddy sad.

"Hello there" one of the men tried, "You must be Carlton."

"Ton" Ton grunted, "Yeah. Taddy? Who are they?"

"Actually they've not told me yet love, we just sat down. They will have business cards if you ask nicely for your book" Ianto smiled and Ton lit up, racing for his business card book and returning to eyeball them.

"Ton you must have manners love" Ianto said softly.

"Oh, yeah. Huh. Can I please have a business card for my collection? I also accept pens or magnets. Please and thank you" Ton recited, then stared at them again.

As one of them rustled around for business cards and even a pen which pleased Ton no end the other one looked at the large boy jiggling like a three year old waiting for an ice cream.

"So...autistic? Is he high functioning, er...Aspergers?" one of them was leaning over and Ianto felt his face change before he could stop the anger from showing. Of all his children, Ton was his most precious.

Ianto looked at the man and snorted, "Hes a Ton."

"That's all you have to call me." Ton finally said slowly, like the man was low functioning, "It's rude to ask that, like asking a lady's age. I am a perfect Toninator. Taddy sez so and Taddy does not lie!"

"That' right love" Ianto smiled "Go tell Daddy Ifan is due a feed so he can sort the bottle, maybe the Toninator can feed the Impy."

"YES!" Ton punched the air and took off.

"As you can see, I have many diplomas and doctorates. One of those is child psychology. Please do not ask a question like that in front of a high-functioning child in any spectrum. They will chew on it and I know at bedtime he will ask me why you think he was high given the way he watched his two friends die up high."

"Shit" one of them muttered, "He was there?"

"Had been up with them moments before but needed the loo" Ianto grimaced, "My son's weak bladder and his horror at learning what a bladder infection is meant he played up merry hell to get out. They went back up and then...well. Went."

Then one of them looked down at the desk and the picture of a young Walter on his Taddy's knee, "Handsome young man. Looks like a young Walter."

"Yes" Walter said from the doorway, "It is a young me."

"Shit" the man repeated with awe as he found himself in the company of a star.


	26. all good

The men were in seventh heaven as Walter charmed them and saw them out, then returned to find Ianto softly laughing as he danced a sleepy baby around the office.

Ton stormed on and threw himself in the chair Ianto had just vacated, holding out one arm as the other still shook the baby bottle gently. No squirting the milk allowed ... don't ask how he discovered that rule. Seriously. Milk on the ceiling is not bloody funny.

"Here you are love" Ianto crooned as he gently lowered his smallest gem into the arms of his biggest baby and Ton lit up as his brother smiled up at him happily, his wee mouth open and waiting for the teat.

"What did they want" Walter frowned "Really Tad."

"It's OK Sinks" Ianto assured them, "Its normal procedure when a child is orphaned to offer grief counselling and the like. Even though he is a baby, they still have to go through the motions for the paperwork. Ifan is legally my son, Connie has also signed papers to agree as well as she is the only one who could have argued with me and she is happy for him to be with us. There is no complaint, no hearing or anything. It was just a routine bullshit visit."

"Taddy" Ton said softly without breaking eye contact with his little brother, "Bad word. Swear Jar please."

"Yes love" Ianto said as he absently felt in his pockets and dropped some coins in the jar on the desk. Although it was for Owen, no one was immune to Ton's rules.

"Well, everything's OK" Walter sighed, "They were excited to get my autograph and would have liked one from Babs as well but I couldn't find her."

"Probably at the other house" Ianto sighed, "Speaking of which, I need to finish cleaning Bonny and Charlie's place so Connie can start moving their stuff in. She and Tyler have some gig in Borneo or something and she wants to store their spare camera gear before they go."

"Want a hand?" Walter asked softly, knowing Ianto had been putting off the real work.

"No, just gonna clear out the office space and front room for now" Ianto shrugged, "I already cleaned out the fridge and freezer so the power can be shut off. Gods, gotta get it back on now. Need to put the garbage bin out for collection too."

"Well, we can help Tad" Walter said more forcefully, "You go there and sit and cry, I know you do. No time for that, we will go, have a day of cleaning and then come home and watch a sad movie so we can have a cry for a reason Ton won't worry about. Yeah?"

"So much like your mother" Ianto smiled as he hugged his son, "You see right through me, don't you."

"Oh Taddy, Ton said it" Walter crooned as he held a man now equal in size but still so huge in his eyes, "You don't lie. Because you can't. Right?"

Ianto snorted and squeezed his handsome son.

He was right.

He had to get it done.


	27. shake it off

Babs sat calmly facing the camera as she smiled politely at the reporter, her third interview today.

"And what do your fans mean to you?"

"Everything" she replied, "To be loved, accepted is huge. You know, I questioned myself recently. Had a real teenage moment of 'who am I' ya know? I did the whole foot stomping and wailing beating of the chest thing and my Taddy let me go for a while, then set me straight."

"And who are you" the reporter asked.

"Babs" she shrugged, "Nothing more, nothing less. I guess I listened to other people instead of to myself. I forgot one of the rules of my family."

"And that is?"

"To always be yourself, whoever that is" she laughed, "I guess it comes down to the fact that I was never a real person, not at first. I was born a wee boy called Noah whose parents didn't want him. Cast aside and rejected. Then I became Babbitt HJ, the little boy who was loved and cherished even when he was mad and wearing a dress, or gumboots to bed, or a lizard for a hat. Then one day I was Babs. I know it didn't happen so quickly, it was more like...I like this, I don't like this...having the freedom to choose. One day I looked my Taddy in the eye and said that I was a girl and he told me of course I was. He knew that already."

"So, you felt it?"

"Yeah. Like...like a weight lifting. Like, everything had been beige and dark, a thunderstorm overhead and when my Taddy laughed and said I was Babs and Babs was wonderful, someone turned the dimmer switch up to full. Ya know? The first time I walked out of the house as Babs, my dress and pearls and my Daddy telling me I looked pretty....it was the first time I didn't feel like I was trying anymore. Ya know? I don't try to be me. I mean, this is me. I know that now. I am a girl, I know that. I want to be a girl, I want people to see the girl in here. I am not a boy. I don't feel like....like...I was wronged or dealt a bad deal or I mean, everything had purpose, Meaning. My Taddy sez that sometimes we must walk on broken glass and bleed for what we believe, who we are. It hurts, we cry. Then he explained, the broken glass is actually our tears, fallen and turned to fake diamonds on the floor. Our hurts, fears and disappointments. We create the glass we must walk on. Nobody else. We can only blame ourselves for our pain. It all made sense. Ya know?"

The reporter was transfixed as Babs' hands fluttered, her hair bobbed and her green eyes held a glow that was pure and honest.

"I am not afraid to be me now. I understand now. It's all a test. And you know who is testing me? Myself. I judge me, I punish me. I must love me too. That's how it works. I must love me, accept me with all my bits and bobs. This is me. I am Babs. I am pretty, loved and whole. This is my body and I must love me. Then I can love those around me, like my lovely Taddy does. That is how it works. Ya see?"

"Like, love starts inside and filters out" the reporter nodded, a convert to the church of Babs.

"Yes" Babs smiled as she reached out and took the woman's hand. Squeezing gently, "I can feel the love of my fans, my friends. I couldn't once, but I do now. I can appreciate their affection. Only because I love myself, only now can I let other people love me too. Return it twofold. It's wonderful. I feel real. Like Pinocchio felt when a real little boy. I am a real girl. I know that now. I have to let go of the silly things that weighed me down or I will drown in sorrow. Only in love can I float."

Babs leapt from the chair and started to dance around the room, her skirts flying as she laughed and cavorted like some ethereal being. Ianto watched from the corner of the room and knew he was weeping as his daughter finally let go of what had confined her the last few months.

His princess was dancing once more.


	28. Phantoms and Menaces

The day of cleaning had not been as harrowing as he had thought it would be and the takeaway meal for tea was also not as bad as he thought it would be, Ton eating to excess as usual as Babs nibbled daintily and bemoaned the calories.

Fen was home, the main reason he felt so good, his children all together, the smallest in Jack's arms as he slept without a care in the world.

"Do you like it?" Ton was asking and Ianto focused as he realised he had been missing something, looking up as Stephen formulated his answer, as you must with the Toninator.

"Yes, but it is hard sometimes. Learning and thinking you have it right only to fail. Really hard but I am getting better at it" Stephen told his little brother, "I flew my first helicopter the other day, the instructor with me but it was me. Felt like...king of the world."

"Just don't fly into power lines" Ton told him with that weird Ton logic that all things fly into power lines now, "It makes a terrible smell."

"OK Ton, I won't" Stephen answered knowing it was all Ton needed to let go of that thought, which he did.

"Imp did a huge burp ad then farted when I fed him today" he said conversationally as he chose a fish bite, "He knew too cos he laughed. It was quite funny like he exploded from both ends. I told him it was better out than in. Badger checked his nappy, it was just a fart."

Everyone nodded like the Badger Man might really be a Nappy Checker as they ate, then Ton handed the now cool fish bite he had been blowing on down to his friend, "Eat slower this time or you will choke again idiot."

The dig eagerly accepted the gift and delicately ate, a look of delight in his wee furry face.

"So Ton" Stephen said as he wiped his fingers on the ever present napkin, "Your play going OK?"

"Bah" Ton huffed, "Can't find a bloody prop we need, stupid."

"What's that?" Jack asked as he carefully handed the baby to Ianto and rose to get some juice for his boy.

"We need an old car, like an antique one or something" Ton frowned, "But they just don't fall from trees ya know."

"Well there are Heck's" Babs answered as she accepted a juice from her Dad's tray, "Actually the brown Phantom is going at the moment too, Fen worked on that, didn't you?"

"Yeah, the Phantom 1925, the black one and the Phantom 1934 are going" Stephen confirmed, "The P34 just needs some new whitewalls but they are coming I ordered them off Colin at the garage the other day. New tyres and she will be ready to glide. Gonna get them fitted and her bill of health, then she is ready to go. The white one Herb and Bets married with, er...you know what I mean...the '38 is going too."

"I love the red interior of the black one" Babs said happily, "I have this lovely sheer dress, like from that era and if I wear my hair up I could really look pretty in that one."

"Does one have a folding top?" Ton asked.

"P34 is a convertible Ton" Stephen smiled, "That's the brown one."

"Oh!" Ton's eyes bugged, "Can we use that one? It's a gangster one!"

"OK" Babs answered for them all, Heck's cars still considered hers in her mind as Heck was hers ya know.

"Actually, I wouldn't mind taking that P25 for a spin" Ianto said as he leaned back, "It is a sexy car, all black like a panther."

Babs grinned knowing her Taddy was going to let her wear the dress and act all grown up, their day out just for them.

"Babs? Is it a date love?" Ianto asked as he brushed his fingers over his baby son's head, "You and me going for a spin at the weekend?"

"Oh yes Taddy" she gushed . "Lovely."

Such a lovely, wonderful Tad.

How could she have ever hurt him with her stupid brain fart?


	29. recap

**Recap of Harkness-Jones family**

The children are now ... 9 (Ton), 13 (Babs), 16¾ (Walt), and 18 (Stephen). Imp is currently about 4½ months old and Walter's Birthday is looming next month.

Ton is the Toninator, a budding stage actor in a local group of wonderful people. Babs and Walter's show is still a hit and they are now international stars, Fen is in the Air force Academy and hoping to fly choppers in the military.

Jack owns Torchwood PI Firm that Tosh runs effectively. Owen and Tosh are married.

Ianto is retired 'officially' but unofficially can't help himself and is nursemaid to any babies he can steal while constantly 'helping' at the library and school and mayoral office and....yeah you know. A reoccurring guest role on the TV show as well as an acclaimed author has made him someone to be reckoned with, along with his many doctorates and high heels.

Connor, Em and their daughter, Bethany (12¾) and twins Ifan and Prim (6). Connor is fulltime manager of the chalets. Their aging dog is Titan. They also have the female pup, Maggie (Maggot).

Myfanwy's son is the mad dog known as Grub. Badger is Ton's bestie.

Cats? Janet (old matriarch) Lucky and Lady Emma are all still there. Several kittens were begged for with big eyes and now Ianto finds he stopped counting. Since the flooding the cats realized where an easy mark was so the village cats all lounge about like they own the place. They skulk around trying to avoid all those little feet and fingers while enjoying treats the big warm one puts out covertly.

2 lizards that are WAYYYYYY too spoilt by their Mama Babs.

Gene is with Idris, happily continuing their lives. Little Neve is the daughter of Idris' cousin who died. She is their little queen. (3½).

Oh yeah, John and Chrys are back together and have a baby son Harley. Babbit's real parents.

.

.

.

**Important Dates**

January 4th Neve's Birthday

January 7th John's Birthday

February 14th is Jack's Birthday ... Valentine boy

March 8th Stephen's Birthday

May 4th Monkey...er...Harley

May 16th Impy (Ifan Marcus Palmer...Harkness-Jones now)

July 15th Ton

August 3rd Babbit's Birthday

Aug 19th Ianto's Birthday, day they met.

Sept 16th Bethy' Birthday

October 20th Walt's Birthday

Oct 30th Bedside wedding

November 3rd Ifan and Prim's Births

Christmas proper wedding

**The Dead List**

Elizabeth and Ifan Jones (Ianto's parents), Lisa (Walt's Mom) and Marcus Hallett, Sofia and Melissa Harkness (Jack's wife and daughter), Carlton Harkness (Jack's Dad), Alice Moretti (Stephen's mom), Sean, Hector, Herb and Bets, Rhia and Gray (Ton's Parents), Mica, David, Bonny and Charlie (Imp's Moms), Myfanwy the dog.

**HOUSES**

**Ianto's House**

Burnt down and Ianto has rebuilt a simple house that he gave Skidmark so his family could have a base away from the compound for all the babies they are popping out. Skidmark is the main minder for Babs and Walter at the studios.

**Firehouse - Cardiff**

The old fire house was where Ianto and Jack got married, then Ianto found it was for sale and purchased it. He had money even then. This is where he fell and almost died due to a cat in the beams. Idris and Gene now live there as their compound was compromised.

** Compound **

The original Hoodlum lair but now the Firehouse for the two men and the surrounding properties are slowly being purchased to create a new compound there.

**Jack's House**

When they moved to the Firehouse this was given to Rhia and Gray, after they died it sat for a while as Ianto didn't want to let it go. Now Tosh and Owen live there.

**Herb's House**

Herb had his own house as he had retired from the fire service and Carl took the job. When Herb died he had moved in with Bets already and in the will he had left it to Ianto. Ianto is now letting Herb's daughter Millie and her husband stay there for a paltry token.

**Fire House- Village**

Carl and Jarred and Ren (8) and wee Izzy pop (5½).

** Chalets **

Ianto and Jack live in main house, a big old villa style house with a big long hallway and Stephen now had his own self contained flat out back. Horse paddocks and a big rock called Rocky, also a nice pathway to a pagoda where Ianto thinks.

**Lake House**

Two actually... one for Jack and Ianto, another for John and Chrys. The kids sleep in which ever they chose. In time another may be built for the teenagers. Still considering that.

**John and Chrys' House**

Just purchased in the village, backing onto the horse paddocks so they can still get to one another via gates.

**Bonny and Charlie's House**

Left to Imp so Connie and Tyler will live there when not on assignment, this means it is in the family and well cared for until he is of age to decide what to do or Ianto gets up the courage to sell it... I doubt it.

Eugene and James still have their house the children were raised in.


	30. Bethy's Day

Bethy's birthday party was in full madness.

Babs had outdone herself, the horse going down like a lead balloon as Connor and Em gaped. Of course Bethy was in tears as she hugged her best friend, the kiss on the lips before racing off to change into riding clothes making Babs blush in that way Bethy always made her do.

"It's...big" Em said as she struggled to find the words.

"Oh, Mama Em don't worry" Babs said happily, "Bethy has been helping with ours for ages and one more in our field won't matter. I will pay for the upkeep and stuff and our horses can all be friends. Walter's horse does that bum nipping thing that might get him a whacked arse though."

"Leave my horse alone ya horse whacker" Walter said as he hugged his sister from behind, kissing her cheek lovingly.

"Well, tell him to stop being an arse biter then!" she said as she turned to return the hug, his big strong arms so warm and lovely just like Taddy's.

"Excuse me" a little voce said and they both turned to find a giggle of girls, their hands full of books and pens, "Can we get your autograph please Piney?"

Walter smiled and kissed his sister before releasing her, then he sat and charmed Bethy's relatives who were all so awe struck that they might all die. He was so handsome and sleek, like a movie star...which he definitely was.

"Look at him" Jack said softly as he pulled Ianto close, "Charming the birds from the trees."

"well definitely from the cupcakes" Ianto agreed happily, his head finding that spot on Jack's shoulder that seemed shaped for that specific purpose, "Ton is helping there though."

Jack snorted and tuned his head slightly to see his young son shoving another cupcake into his mouth that that look of glee tempered with a devious glint as he thought he had achieved this unnoticed, the paper being spat back out maybe not so subtle.

"Shit, he's not skinning them" Jack sighed and Ianto fought the urge to laugh as Jack's choice of words that were so 'Ton' choosing to look over to where Walter's grandmother Hattie sat with the Imp, watching the children running about with glee.

Ianto had little gift bags for the children, Izzy and Prim doing most of the handing out as the 'stupid' brothers all played. Neve had conked out and was asleep in the grass, Idris lovingly holding an umbrella over her as he talked with Eugene about something, Gene and his father James chasing the children with Owen.

Bethy flew back out in jodhpurs and her ridding hat in her hand as Babs was as maniacal about safety on the horses as she had been with the motorbikes. Gods, Connor realised with a start that he should be lucky it was a horse, not a four wheeler gracing the field with pink bows all over it.

"Come on love" she called and Babs nodded, her own horse waiting patiently with its mane carefully braided by a loving Taddy's fingers earlier in the day.

The two girls sat high in their saddles looking like royalty as the cameras flashed and then they were off, heading for the creek to splash as the dogs followed roaring with glee and Ton standing with his hands on his hips yelling that they were show offs.

"We need to sort that wee motor for him" Ianto said softly, "I do not want him to have a horse, it will have to come inside on cold nights for sleepovers or something."

Jack laughed as he took Ianto in his arms and kissed him, revelling in the plump curves hidden under the clothing as Ianto had filled out again and was a good healthy weight.

"Daddy, stop squeezing Taddy's bum or he will need the throne room" Ton said loudly as he stomped past and the giggling went though everyone like a wave of love.

Ton definitely needed transport too.


	31. Toad and Badger

Jack was nervous, a big thing for him to please his beloved Tonny and he stood patiently as Ianto lured the boy outside with a question about the flower borders.

"I don't know Tadda, purple might be a bit too....ooooooooooo" Ton stopped and his eyes blew out as he looked at the deep green miniature car sitting there.

It was just like Mr Toad's car complete with an air horn. The wheels had spokes and the seat was big enough for two with a little seat in the back for the picnic basket sitting to one side. Ton seemed to have shut down, completely still and Ianto reached out to touch his shoulder, "Take a breath love."

Ton gulped in some air and then started to walk around the vehicle, Jack now extremely nervous that he had gone too far with the Wind in the Willows theme as Ton stood at the back staring at the spare wheel on the back like an old car from Heck's collection.

"Dadda?"

"Yes love."

"You got me this?"

"Yes love"

"Well. Taddy is the cake master and you are the car master" Ton said calmly, "Just so you know. All my cars must come from you. This is really....perfect."

"Why thank you love" Jack grinned as he relaxed, "The tyres are all terrain and it has suspension and everything so it can go across the field to the creek."

Ton looked in that direction and back at his new bestest thing...apart from Badger. And Taddy. And Daddy. And Imp. Oh Fen and Walt. Babs ...well, Bethy could have her, she was mad.

"Dadda?"

"Yes love?"

"Can I have a road to the creek so the tyres don't get dirty?"

Jack looked at Ianto for guidance and Ianto sighed as he realised Jack had not considered this, "We will talk to Manny and Colin the truck man. Maybe a gravel one that goes around the edge of the field so the horses don't mind it either. Then you can have long happy drives for Badger? Maybe a wee bridge for the creek?"

"Oh, yes! I can fish off a bridge!" Ton squealed, jazz hands employed to show his agreement, "Like a race track but I won't race. Promise, Badger might get sick if I go too fast. And I won't drive at the horses or the babies, they might die."

"That sound like a very grown-up decision" Ianto said and Ton glowed with glee at the praise, his hands now patting the vehicle as he moved to get in.

"Right, Daddy will show you how it goes while I go sort a snack for your basket to take to Rocky." Ianto said as he started inside knowing Ton would spend the rest of the day alternating between driving his toy and sitting on the rock considering the new toy and all the wonders of the universe.

And it wasn't even his birthday.

How lucky is that!


	32. Toad in a Hole?

"Taddy"

Ianto moaned and shifted in the bed as cold hands felt about and found him, pulling him into a tight hug, "Taddy, do you think it charged?"

"Darling, it's really early" Ianto muttered as he tried to ignore those hands now feeling his PJ top for the buttons to play with, "Try to snooze with Taddy."

"But it's charged, right?"

Jack snorted from the other side of the bed resigned to his fate since he was the one to get an electric car, "Come on stink. Let's go see, let Taddy have a snooze. Bubba was awake in the night remember?"

"Is Imp OK?"

"Bubbas wake in the night at first, they get so hungry" Jack explained as he walked with his son's hand slipped into his, "When they get bigger their tums are bigger so they can sleep all night, but such wee tums mean they get hungry more. That's why he needs more bottle for now."

"Oh, OK" Ton nodded as it made sense and he was glad his Daddy explained, he was good like that these days. Seems Taddy taught him how to.

They unplugged the Toady and Ton drove it regally out into the parking area that was all his, the scribble TON'S TOAD CAR SPACE written in crayon said so. Then he and Jack took it for a wee spin before breakfast, just to warm it up. Ianto stood in his old man's robe staring at the mess with a controlled look of annoyance, then he calmly walked to the shed for some yellow paint and marked the space properly, glad he had chosen a spot by one of the disused chalets so it didn't matter.

Come to think of it.

Ianto fetched the keys and opened the door, smelling the misuse and opening windows to air it out. The crunch of tyres announced the return of the Toninator Toad Mobile.

"Hey love" Ianto smiled as he stepped down and watched Jack clamber out of the vehicle, stretching his legs and bemoaning the lack of leg room.

"Not Toady's fault you have massive legs" Ton said happily, "Whatcha doing Taddy? Where's Imp?"

"Imp is still asleep, hence the baby monitor sitting there on the flower pot. I was just looking at the old chalet. Too old for rental now, the bathroom needs too much work. Was just thinking, maybe it would make a nice playhouse for you and your friends if Daddy...."

The howl of glee drowned out whatever he was about to say so Ianto just let his child cavort and dance about like Babs on crack.

Jack grinned as he shot inside, then returned with a flushed look that was pure delight, "I never thought of that, what a great idea. He can help. Gods, been doing up everyone's places, never thought of one for Ton. What do ya say son, our project?"

"And a garage for Toady?"

"A carport, like, a wee roof over it same as we have for the Mayoral Motor" Jack agreed, "In the snow months he can go into the room that was the bathroom.... Oh...oh....I will gut it and turn it into a wee parking garage so you can plug him in and stuff. Gods, this will be epic!"

Ianto left them to gush and went in as the monitor announced someone's need for love.

Ianto had plenty to go around.


	33. bouncing boy

Ianto turned the page to the newspaper he was reading, the morning sunlight shining through the window warming the kitchen.

WHOMP

Ianto sat and lifted his cup to his lips, taking a sip of hot coffee. His eyes fluttered shut and he enjoyed it rolling in his mouth.

BANG

Ianto placed the cup down and looked down at the baby asleep in the crook of his arm, a wee pout as Imp slept peaceful with the knowledge that his beloved Taddy would die before putting him aside while unhappy.

CRASH

Ianto watched a wee frown form so he started to sing a lullaby, the Welsh calming the little lump.

THUD ... THUD ... THUD

Ianto sighed softly and looked to the heavens.

"DADDA STOP THAT YA BOGGEY!"

Ianto rocked gently, his baby's face softening as he relaxed once more.

"GET OFF THE GROUND YOU ONLY FELL FROM HALF WAY UP YA NANCY!"

Ianto rose and walked to the door to look out at his husband writhing on the ground as Ton looked up at the ladder, straightening it, "Look, I can hold the bloody thing. Get up and fix the roof ya silly man, gods Daddy do I need to ring Uncle Idris to come fix this?"

As expected Jack got up instantly, the horror of being upstaged by the black Adonis making him forget he had just fallen from the ladder and he scaled it then patted his belt and looked around with confusion.

"Catch" Ton yelled, chucking the hammer and Jack squeaked as he reached for it, Ianto holding his breath as the ladder wobbled and Ton leaned back against it to grin back at his Taddy and thereby inadvertently save his Dad who clung to the top of the ladder with huge eyes.

Ianto felt a snort coming on and knew his beloved would not see what had just happened as funny as him so he shot inside for a giggle attack, then got himself together and placed his baby in the wee day crib then went to make some scones.

Hard work, renovating and Ton waxed lyrical about all the old biddies that made scones and such for their hard working boys, always sure to have the Devonshire scones for the Toninator who always insisted on kissing their hand before leaving.

Gentlemen do that ya know.

"Tad, where's Dad?" Babs asked as she strode past in her riding gear, Bethy no doubt waiting at the gate to the field.

"Up the ladder being held by Ton" Ianto managed to say with a straight face and she stopped, turned and looked at him.

"Without an adult watching them? Are you mad?" she sighed, "Taddy, you know those two together are worse than the twins."

She went out and started shouting instructions that were sure to help, Jack's replies a bit coarse around little ears and SWEAR JAR got yelled a few times before she decided to leave them to their own demise, stomping off to ride with her love.

Ianto had another wee giggle fit.

Why not.


	34. Feeling Grup

Manny and Carl were helping as Jack adjusted the ramp for the little car Connor was carefully pushing as Ton drove it into the chalet's drive in garage. The little car fitted with plenty of room, Ton almost in tears as he watched his lovely Daddy plug it in to charge and he held his arms up for a cuddle, even though he was really a big boy. When the battery had run down he thought he might die but of course Daddy fixed it.

He loves his Daddy so much.

The little house was perfect, the big TV and a big sofa bed thing with lots of pillows and stuff, it was warm and cosy and the XBOX was all plugged in ready for games. A bookshelf full of games, books and DVDs so Ton and friends could blob out in an awesome man cave or as Ton called it the Toninator Lair.

Taddy had got the perfect things to go in there, all greens and gold like Tonny liked, all cool and awesome and warm. Even a little fridge for sodas and juices and snacks, a fruit bowl and stuff too. Ton thought he might die from happiness, especially when Walter settled on the bed and demanded first game with him in the cool Ton house.

Jack held Ianto as they watched Ton running out of the house to crow and run about before running back in, showing he must have beaten Walter. Jack snorted and buried his face in Ianto's hair as he hugged him from behind, Ianto calmly watering the flowerbed like it was normal to have a husband shaped coat on.

"Hey guys" Connie called out as she walked up the drive, both men smiling as she waved out to them, "Tyler is still asleep with jetlag, thought I would come see the Impy."

"He's inside with Babs and Chrys" Ianto called back, watching her enter the house to find the girls, then he went back to watering.

"He's getting big" Jack muttered softly, "Also...I do know someone's Birthday snuck past us quietly. Then the Walt's."

"Yeah, I didn't want a fuss" Ianto said softly, "Walter is going to be seventeen and we made such a fuss of Stephen's eighteenth that I want him to have the spotlight for a little while. Babs was insane and I think it would be nice to do something grown-up."

"Like what?"

"Maybe a weekend party for everyone where we can combine the birthday and have a cake and streamers, a daytime thing for the kids" Ianto said and Jack hummed, "But for his actual birthday I think it would be nice if we took him out for a meal. Just the three of us. A real restaurant, like grown-ups. Show him we see that he is not a child anymore."

"I like that" Jack smiled, the afternoon he spent the Stephen for his birthday out flying together in his mind. He had invited Ianto to come as well but he had declined, to be included with Walter meant something.

Once again Ianto acknowledged that Walter was their son, not just his.

It meant more to Jack than he thought it would.

.

.

.

.

Jack hadn't forgotten Ianto's birthday before you all flay him alive. After all, it was also the day they met so he would never forget that. He had respected Ianto's desire to not celebrate, let's not forget it was also the anniversary of the school attack.

.

.

.

Lightening has fried my Modem and it looks like it will be 3-7 working days before another modem can be set up for my internet at home, therefore this is only possible today as I am at the library while in town. This looks like I will be going dark for a while, will try to post every second days if I can, while in town but no promises. When it is finally fixed I promise a multi-chap osting to make up for it. Sorry guys. I am gutted too. Look at it this way...what might I write while distracted?


	35. Man's night out

Stephen was not only touched to have been invited, but gracious in declining as he opted to stay with Ton who would undoubtedly kick up when he realised he hadn't been invited.

Walter put on the suit his Tad had laid out, walking out to find himself matching his fathers and as they headed out for the evening he felt himself taller somehow.

They got to the restaurant and were seated, the menus handed over and Walter realised his Tad was not wearing his glasses as Jack read out the options that were open to Ianto. Walter looked at them as they leaned in close, their matching silver winged hair making them both look distinguished and so damned handsome.

Without his glasses, Taddy looked so young all of a sudden as he looked at Dad, the love so raw.

"How about you get this and I'll get the steak. You can sneak a few bites" Jack offered and Ianto hummed as his hand slid across the table to stroke Jack's wrist, then disappear again, Jack's face softening as he leaned in and kissed Ianto's cheek.

"How about you Walt?" Ianto asked and Walter was pleased the name was his adult, clipped one without endearments. This was an evening between men.

"I like the look of the pork with crackle" he said gaining a nod from his Tad.

"That is a good one, I've had that before but was naughty and ate the crackle before your Dad could snavel it from me. So naughty" Ianto sighed, sounding like Ton and Jack beamed as he nodded his agreement.

"Excuse me"

They turned to find a teenage boy, nervously looking at Walter who smiled and held out his hand, "Hi. I'm Walt. This is my night out with my fathers so why not sit down for a moment instead of feeling like you are in the way."

The young man sat, his face one of total shock as Walter asked him about school, life and dreams, laughed as he described Ton's lair and signed several napkins, even leaning in for a selfie.

"Here, I am writing my email on this menu, you keep this and send me a copy of the selfie for my fan page, yeah?" Walter said and the young man blinked with wide eyes.

"Roger, what the hell are you doing?" a voice said and they found a middle aged woman approaching, "I am so sorry, he is usually better than this. Come on love, your Dad is almost ready to go."

Roger grimaced and turned "Aw Mom! Can't I stay longer? The hospital won't care!"

"No, but your specialist will" she scolded, "Sorry. Roger is supposed to be on his way back to the hospital."

"Why?" Walter asked, "Are you ill?"

"I had a tumour on my lung so they had to cut it out and now I am having treatment." Roger said with embarrassment.

"Taddy has had cancer, he battled it didn't you Tad" Walter said pointing at Ianto.

"Yes, I almost didn't pull through but I kept my faith" Ianto nodded, "Faith in myself. It does get dark though, there were a few times I felt like I was drowning. Especially when it came back. A heaviness in your soul."

"Yeah, I know that feeling" Roger sighed.

Walter made a decision, showing his Taddy's heart, "What room are you, what say I call in tomorrow and blow everyone's minds? Maybe even some pics?"

"Really?" Roger lit up at the thought of his friends seeing Walter walk in.

Ianto smiled as he watched his son being all grown up.

He was a good man.


	36. memories for the soul

A man of his word, Walt arrived with Babs in tow, her fairy princess outfit making the little ones scream with glee and Ianto zeroed in on the babies, cuddling as many as he could while talking with the staff.

Jack found a little one who needed a cuddle, overexcited and in tears so he sat and rocked, singing softly as the wee one burrowed into the lovely smelling god.

Parents took photos, children got autographs and Ianto found himself with a father who was struggling to remain calm, "It's the first smile I've seen in weeks."

"Which one is yours?" Ianto said, "Don't say the bald one, seems to be more than one."

The father snorted and turned to Ianto with a soft smile, "Greg, he's the one with the red sweatshirt, the hoodie. I can't believe he's let it down and is showing his head. The scar is so...scary to him."

"I have many scars, Walter has seen me suffer" Ianto said softly, "Walter sees souls, not vessels."

"He is a wonderful young man, I can't believe he's real. We watch the show and even got the box sets on DVD for Greg's birthday. They were going to be for Christmas but...well."

"Make hay while the sun shines" Ianto whispered, "He's not clear?"

"No" the father swallowed, "They couldn't get it all. He might see Christmas but it's likely to be his last. I don't know how to do it. How to watch him die."

"Then don't" Ianto laid a hand on his arm, "Everyone will watch him die, don't you do that too. Watch him live. Watch him love. Laugh and resonate through the lives of those he knows. That's the best you can do. Make memories not just for you but for him. In the end, when he knows his time is near, give him something to hold on to, to take with him into the light."

"Thank you" the man said thickly, swallowing as he tried to hide his tears and Ianto pulled him into a corner behind a bookshelf, holding him and letting him grieve for a moment.

"There is no shame in sorrow" Ianto assured him, "No shame at all. There will be tears later, for now you need to focus on him. He has tears too, he hides them so you won't hurt but he grieves too. Don't hide your tears, let him know a man can cry. That he is not a baby for crying. Give him that gift too."

"Thank you" the man repeated, "I was told there is a support group but it seems like I am giving in, ya know?"

"I belong to one, as a survivor of cancer I find comfort in others that survived as well. It feels like we tricked death, sometimes like it's not fair it was us and not someone more deserving" Ianto informed him, "There was also one I was part of for some time, to help deal with the death of my wife, Walt's mother. It is not a weakness to seek like minded people. They can help you see a way out of the hole, or if you are wallowing they will show you how to take the steps forward. Someone else who will say they cut their wrists to try to join their loved one, or lay on their grave berating them for leaving. You don't feel so crazy, you see grief is a bitch."

Ianto hoped he had helped as the man wiped his face and went back to his dying child.

Ianto knew he would dwell and reminded himself of his own words.

Live.


	37. time to be grownup about some things

"Do you have a boyfriend?" Greg asked Babs who leaned back to look at him, Ianto's alarm from across the room warning her not to blurt the usual snark. Ianto watched her eyes travel over his scar riddled scalp down to his sunken eyes full of hope and his downturned mouth as he already regretted his outburst.

"No" she replied, "I do not. I have a girlfriend called Beth."

"Can I be your boyfriend?" Greg asked hopefully as those around them watched on, "I will be a good one because I won't hang around much, you know...as in...dying here?"

Babs blinked and then started to laugh, reaching out and hooking his hand, "I like you. You're funny. You know, maybe I do need a boyfriend. Do you write poetry? Boyfriends write poems and stuff. Bethy is crap is that."

"I do!" Greg gushed "I will write you poems and songs and stuff."

"Well, it's a deal then" she said airily, "No kissing though, you get herpies that way!"

"Really?" Greg asked.

"Yes, I read that somewhere and I kiss my lizards so maybe kissing me is a bad idea. Bert and Sheila might have colds" she frowned, "Tell you what. We will get some of those rubber lips and when we want to give each other a kiss we can hand over the lips. Like...a token."

"I like that!" Greg said and Babs grinned as Greg rose to address the room "Hey everyone. I got a girlfriend and she's the prettiest girl in the world!"

Babs gushed happily as everyone clapped and Ianto smiled softly at her for being so thoughtful as to remember that these kids have low immune systems. Seems his books and pamphlets were read after all. For a strange wee bit, she had grown into a lovely young lady and it seems that wee bump on the road was now in the rear-view mirror as she flexed her self-awareness and came up with the answers she had been seeking. She knew who she was. She was loved. Could love. To see her be kind, to reach out and stroke the cheek of the poor child like he was a handsome prince was almost too much to bear witness to.

As they were heading down to the car she turned to Ianto, "He's gonna die. Isn't he."

"Yes love" Ianto said softly, "He only has months. This will be his last Christmas."

Babs seemed to consider. Then turned to her best friend in the entire universe.

"Walter?"

"Yes dear."

"We have to make it a good one for him, he has to remember it in the next place."

"OK Dear."

Ianto started to plan in his mind, glad the children had exchanged phone numbers because now he also had to get things started. Christmas might still be months away, but it wasn't that long at all.

Not when you are counting each day greedily.

It was a time to build memories...for the family of that poor boy.

.

.

.

.

Goodbye Sir Bruce Forsyth. Was nice to see you, to see you nice. xxxx


	38. Toad Mobile or Froggy?

Idris had backed up the SUV and Ianto stood drying his hands on the tea towel with mild interest as the back was opened to reveal something wrapped in a blanket. Jack was weeding and sat back on his heels as Ton looked up as well, his spot beside his Daddy as most days.

"What you got Uncle Idi?" he called out with interest.

"Something that used to be yours" Idris called back, "You gave it to Neve and now we are giving it to Impy."

"Oh?" Ton rose with his face now full of excitement as he rushed to see what it could be and Jack wiped his hands on his butt as he rose as well, more interested in the taught bum of his husband who stood without a jacket in the cool air.

Gene and Idris lifted the bundle down and then removed the blanket to reveal something Ianto had forgotten about but his son had not as he squealed with glee, pointing at it, "Froggy Mobile!"

"Oh my god" Jack said softly, "The green machine. Shit. Oh god, it all makes sense."

Jack started to laugh as Ton raced inside and Ianto groaned as a little cry was heard then Ton came racing out with a now awake and pissed off baby who had not long since gone down. Ton shoved him into the Froggy Mobile and leaned in, "Now you better get used to this. We have lots of these things and it only gets worse as you get bigger. One day there isn't even gonna be someone pushing so you better get the speed!"

Ton then seized the handles and Ianto's eyes widened as Ton took off with the crying baby, everyone standing still with shock as he roared down the drive and into the street.

"Shit!" Jack ran after him calling out for him to slow down, wee Ifan might get carsick.

Gene turned to his brother, "Sorry, I didn't' think that one through. I thought he would just do the jazz hands thing."

Ianto blinked, then started to laugh, "He's right though. Imp better get used to it, that brother if his is going to shove him into all sorts of contraptions, whether he likes it or not. Gods, did you see how fast it goes downhill?"

"Used to have cash helmets" Idris said with a snort, "Remember? Babbit demanding one, then coming out with that colander on his head?"

"Shit" Ianto giggled, his hand over his mouth as he watched Jack finally catch up to Ton who was hysterically laughing. Imp had stopped panicking as he woke from his too small nap and Ianto was interested to see his wee face as Jack and Ton pushed him up the drive to his beloved Taddy.

Delight.

Oh gods, of course it was.

Another Harkness-Jones loved speed.


	39. Taddy and Daughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [](https://postimages.org/)

Babs felt so pretty, her Taddy all proper in his best suit and the apple green tie that she had purchased him a long time ago. He seemed to glow as he walked without any sign of his usual limp, so handsome and proper. His hair slicked back with the speckles of grey around the sides making him look like one of those movie stars from the old movies.

The 1925 Black Phantom sat in the driveway like a crouching panther and she felt a shiver as her Tad offered her his arm. For thirteen years of age, she looked every inch the woman she was becoming, her black dress clinging as she walked to show her feminine frame and thanks to the hormone therapy her breasts were now happily joining the party.

Ianto held her hand as he helped her into the car, Babs careful to tuck her knees together like Ianto had taught her and he slid in beside her, Skidmark driving them to town and the restaurant her Taddy had booked for their evening together.

An evening.

Not a lunch or a picnic like she had thought, Taddy took her to a real French restaurant with flowers and candles on the table, her black cape taken along with her Taddy's lovely long coat and then they walked to their waiting table for two.

Her Taddy held her chair and helped her sit, then sat as well with that wrist flicking thing he does when happy. He ordered without looking at the menu, his French impeccable. She followed with a more stilted French but he nodded his approval at her pronunciation.

They talked about everything and nothing like she supposed grownups do, watching her Taddy's face flush when he told her quietly he was wearing a corset for her Daddy, as a reward for taking on the Toninator who had definitely thought he should go with them. 'As a bodyguard' with a serious frown like he might take a bullet for her or something. So sweet. She had promised a special picnic with him the next day at Rocky, he could drive. The idea of driving her in the Toad Mobile had comforted him.

"Taddy, I want to say thank you" she said as they enjoyed their desert, "I have been a brat lately and I know I hurt you..."

Ianto waved a hand to silence her, then swallowed his mouthful of chocolate mousse.

"Darling, we all have moments we would rather we didn't. Things we want back again" Ianto shrugged, "Grownups have moments of stupidity too... Zigging instead of zagging. But, we can't have a do-over. Life is complicated and messy. Darling, I will forgive you every time, even when you don't realise you hurt me. It's my job to weigh up your worth, as a person. I can tell you now that you are wonderful. Imperfect and crazy, just like me. I would hope for nothing less."

"Thank you Taddy" she smiled softly. "Always."

"And I accept your apology and your thanks" he said with a grin, "I love you baby girl."

Babs didn't doubt that.

She would always be his little Babbit.


	40. cuddles

Ianto was alone, except for his little cat cuddler who was asleep in a patch of sun with a cat against his back like a little hot water bottle, the tiny hands clasped together.

Babs came in and settled to look at her baby brother as he stretched in his sleep, wee bare feet pointing the toes like a dancer. He looked so cuddly that she longed to scoop him up but she settled for sliding into her Taddy's lap instead.

"What are you doing Taddy?" she asked as she looked at the photo boxes and albums scattered about and he pointed to one. She lifted it up and opened it to look at the precious little chub laying asleep like Ifan was now, the huge dog sitting by the beanbag in the sun.

She looked hard at it and frowned, "I don't remember Harley wearing this."

Ianto looked over at the little baby in the cute peppermint two piece, so lovingly hand knitted and the little binky also peppermint, just a shade darker.

"That's you at the Firehouse, see the garden outside?" Ianto said, looking back at photos and Babs looked at herself with surprise, seeing the pale colouring that was not masculine. She flicked the next page and found a bright bold red outfit with a little sunhat to match with frills.

Another photo and this time her hand shook as she stared at the little beast in Heck's hat, bright pink gumboots and a couple of her Taddy's ties worn at once and flicked over each shoulder, both dragging in the dirt like leashes as she ran, a butterfly net above her head.

"Taddy, I'm a girl" she said softly.

"Of course you are love" he said without looking up.

"No, I mean every photo is of me being...well...me. No boy ones." She clarified.

Ianto looked over his glasses at her and smiled, "Of course not. I thought you might like an album of you when you were you. I have lots of you in transition but your children will want to see your baby photos and such, I thought it might be nice if you could show them you as a cute little girl. You were always you, flitting about without a clear orientation except when I dressed you in your school uniform and you played up merry hell to wear the blazer without a monogram because you thought it gaudy. I still remember you standing there with your little hands on your hips, your nose wrinkled. But Tadda, it's so gaudy."

"Gods, did I?" she laughed as she looked at another photo, her in a swim suit she must have chosen in a shopping trip because she was too little to know Bethy and it struck her.

"Taddy? You let me chose girl clothes?"

"Of course I did, I let you have whatever you wanted" Ianto shrugged, "You wore Daddy's boots sometimes like a bigfoot, my clothes, Walter's. If you asked for a dress, overalls, tiara or bow tie you got it. It was all your choice. I always let you choose your way."

"Thank you Taddy" she said softly, the words catching in her throat as she looked at one of her at what must have been her third birthday party, the cake a castle with rainbow flags and her hand slammed down in the middle with a look of horrible glee.

She thought it was wonderful.


	41. Being Grup about it

Babs sat waiting patiently for Greg who came out looking annoyed as he pulled his hat down and called back over his shoulder, "Get a grip Dad!"

"What's wrong?" she asked, offering her hand and leading him out to the garden area of the hospital. She knew this place, remembered it well. She had visited here when her Taddy was sick and remembered her Uncle Idris sitting here holding her close when her beloved Grandy was hurt. She had felt better, in some weird way she hoped it worked with Greg too as he was looking pale.

"Dad wants me to stay in bed but ya know, I wanted the sun" he huffed, then smiled as he reached into the pocket of his dressing gown, "Look. I made you this."

Babs accepted it and grinned at the card, hand drawn lips on the front that had her giggling as she placed her own lips to them and then she handed it back, his lips hesitantly brushing against the card now.

"You are clever" she sighed, "I was telling Bethy just the other day that when we are all grown up you will be a lawyer or politician maybe."

"A doctor" he nodded, "I want to make sick kids better. This sucks."

"Greggy you have to give your Dad a break, he is just a person like you and me" she patted his hand gently, "He's scared and sometimes when you are scared you act stupid, right?"

"I guess" he slumped back as he was forced to agree. Babs always had the right logic in her brain bits. She was older after all.

"His Grup mind is telling him you are gonna leave" she whispered as the breeze picked up, "He's scared you are going to go and leave him behind with all the pain and confusion. He's just a person, he has feelings and fears and nightmares. He doesn't want you to go. He doesn't understand that you have to do what the gods decide. He will not let you go without a fight, maybe a bigger fight than you have."

"But I might die darling" Greg frowned as he looked into her brilliant green eyes.

"Then you die" she breathed, "I will cry and be pissed at everyone, your Mum will cuddle your sister and brother and cry a lot, your Dad will be scared and my Taddy will make it all go OK in the end. You travel to the next place and wait. One day I will come and join you, like your Mum and Dad will when it's their turn. Dying doesn't mean you are leaving me. Your Dad doesn't get that yet. He hasn't had as much to do with the matter. I know. You are not leaving me, just going somewhere else. You will wait. When it's time, I will see you and it will be OK because I will not be scared with you to guide me. Heck, Herb, Bets...lots of people already there. You have someone to guide you too, remember?"

"My grandma" he grinned, "And my baby sister who died in mum's tummy."

"Yeah, you will get to see what she looks like first" Babs grinned, "I bet she had your freckles."

"You think there are freckles on the other side?"

"All the good things" she promised, her hand warming his, "After all, you will be there right?"

"I love you Babs" he smiled as he settled against her and she pulled her coat around him more as she tried to be true to her own words and not be scared.

Not fair to be selfish.

Not if he needed to go and be free of the suffering.


	42. a weird cup and conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [](https://postimages.org/)

"Tad?"

Ianto knew that tone and looked over his glasses at her, the darning needle poised with Jack's sock spread over one hand and he hummed in question.

"Greg. He is gonna die, right?"

Ianto let his socked hand rest on the table as the other placed the needle back into the little pin cushion made from a tea cup. He considered and she knew it was going to be a serious conversation as he pulled the sock off and moved his chair slightly.

"I think so" he confirmed gently, "They didn't get it all and had hoped to give him time. That's all they can do now."

"He's so young" she whispered, plucking at the cloth on the table.

"Yes" Ianto nodded, "It sucks."

"His Dad doesn't accept it yet, does he" she frowned, "He's waiting for him. Like...he can't leave him yet even though it really hurts."

"Greg is not stupid. He's worked it out, even if his Dad hasn't, yeah" Ianto sighed, "I remember your Daddy forbidding me."

""Is that why Greg is hurting? Because he is fighting to stay here for his Dad?" she was now tracing the outline of one of the other flowers she knew Bets had lovingly sewn in those wee tiny crosses. Roses. "Tad?"

"Yes. He can't move on yet, not until it feels right for him" Ianto placed his hand over hers, stilling the movement "It might be soon. Uncle Owen doesn't tell me about him but I see him getting sad. When he was here yesterday he took a hug home with him. You know he doesn't take hugs much and I hadn't offered, just stood to push the chair in and he was stealing one. Well, Ton said so after like he couldn't believe he had been so brazen. 'In broad daylight' he had gasped at me."

She smiled then, the image of Ton spluttering that one of the precious 'Taddy Hugs' had been pilfered.

"It will hurt?"

"Not Greg" Ianto answered, "Us. We will hurt, like we always do when that thin invisible thread between our hearts snaps and their soul moves too far away for us to feel."

She smiled softly as she looked up into his face, seeing the love and gentle acceptance of things and knew she was selfish. Knew sometimes she was a horrible person. To hold so tightly to Greg.

"I remember you telling me once that our vessels are like motor cars. They break down, rust and get terrible dents and bangs in the bodywork" she clung to his hand, "You said those who die young leave a good chassis behind but take so much more with them. Energy not expended here."

Ianto remembered after the bombing, the little one so upset about the little girl in the pushchair that Ianto had mourned as well and he smiled as those whispers in the dark came back.

"Those of us who go early sometimes have a reason. Maybe they needed someone pure and wonderful up there. Ya know? Angels are so needed around the world right now with the conflict and horrors. They say we all have a guardian angel, I think mine is Lisa. I got mine late in life, why my childhood was so shitty. Just think of a baby born every minute, someone dies. Someone born. Life is complex and shitty and wonderful and infuriating." Ianto agreed.

"I will see him again, when it's time" she slid from her chair into his lap and stole one of Tonny's special hugs, his lips against her forehead as he rocked always felt good.

"No matter how big you get, how much time passes you are my wee Babbit" Ianto whispered, "And I will make it all OK."

She closed her eyes and thanked the gods for her own special guardian angel as he hugged her tighter.


	43. popping

The Imp was colicky and complaining about it, as was his right.

The house was asleep except for his personal Colic Relief Specialist, Ianto's soft hum as he paced soothing. Elvis was the go tonight, Are You Lonesome Tonight haunting as Ianto walked the length of the front room and back to the kitchen, not able to walk the long hallway he did during the day for fear of waking Ton.

Wake the Ton and it's all over for going back to sleep in this house.

Ianto felt a little hand fisting his collar as his son brought his little knees up to his chest, a little moan the only indicator that he was in pain. Ianto sighed as he glanced at the formula again, it hard to be that. Right? After all, he had found problems in the past with dud batches and the anti-colic teats usually worked a charm.

The poor wee man twisted again and Ianto couldn't take it anymore, putting the plug in the sink and filling it with hot water then laying his baby on the table and pulling off his clothes. His germaphobic mind giving in to the needs of a defenceless tot. He turned and used his elbow to reassure himself before lowering the wee man into the water and the little fella grunted as the warmth enveloped his pained belly.

Ianto had placed a tea towel in the bottom to avoid slippage and another couple were now used as a pillow so he could sit and hold his son with one hand while the other swished the water over the little man to keep him toasty warm.

"My darling" Ianto crooned, "My poor darling."

"Taddy?"

"Oh sweetie, did we wake you?" Ianto looked back at Babs as she stood on the doorway, her pink and white sparkly PJs looking so childlike, a plush unicorn under her arm as she blinked at him with surprise.

"I wanted a drink" she said as she went to the fridge and stated to open the juice, then looked at him again and grinned as she got a glass.

"Ifan has wind" Ianto sighed, "He's in pain."

"Can I help?" her worry evident as she saw his little face screw up.

"Some boiled water in his bottle might help love, warm not hot" Ianto suggested and she rushed to help as he swished the water some more.

"You were colicky too" Ianto said after a while, "I had a bath set up for you most nights just in case. Your Dad and I taking turns. I hope it's not the powder. We are so careful."

A little pop and Ianto smiled as he crooned, "There you are, better out than in love. Let the bad beasties out of that Butt chamber, yeah. Bad bum demons be gone. Yeah."

Babs giggled as she leaned over and gasped, "Gods, rancid."

"Well it is a fart or two ... three ... oh gods, an outboard motor is stating up" he gasped as the water bubbled like a wee Jacuzzi.

"Awww, he looks so relieved" she giggled "Poor wee monkey man."

He looked up at her and smiled at his favourite long haired person in the whole worlds. (Taddy best over all but don't tell anyone) mind you ... the cats are pretty good.

Ifan realised he would have to ponder this more, who was bestest ... after Taddy.

Huh.

There's doggie.

Aw bum.

Flowers have to be there somewhere, they make the world pretty right? Flowers. Birdies are pretty good.

Ianto lifted the limp baby out of the water and dried him with the towel Bas had retrieved and they watched his little hands twitch as he dreamed, snoring softly in his Taddy's arms.

"What do you think he's dreaming of?" she whispered.

"An ice-cream the size of his head like Ton the other night?" Ianto offered then they giggled.

Ifan stopped riding his doggie sized horsie in the field of flowers and listened to Taddy giggling on the wind as as his love warmed them coz the sun was his smiling face.

Then they flew up into the cloudy fluffs and away.


	44. the winding down of a clock

Greg was tired.

His girlfriend was tucked into the chair by the bed reading softly to him, making different voices for the different characters and everything. It was nice. She was nice. His Babs.

Babs looked up and saw that he had finally drifted off, his days so long for him but he seemed to hate sleeping. Taddy said it was because he didn't have much time left, he was afraid to miss anything. It made sense.

Babs placed the book down and slid the rubber lips from her pocket to leave by the book then she stood for a long time staring at him, her heart sore because she knew it was getting close.

"Babs"

"Hi" she smiled at Greg's Dad as he sat and looked at her rubber lips, "We got through three chapters."

"He loves the way you read, tells me I read too much like an old man" he smiled.

"Well tell him, what does he expect when he's given you grey hairs" she shrugged making him smile softly.

She studied him for a while, "He only has a wee while. His last Christmas so we need to make it a good one. He is scared to ask but he wants to drive a car. I have several old cars and think it would be cool if we can get a day where he feels strong and we let him drive around the field at home or something. Just so he has that. A grown-up thing. He always thought he would get a car for his 18th. One of his dreams."

"I will"

"No. You won't. You make it so hard for him when you pretend like that. I know you are scared, so is he but this isn't something you can fix. He hurts. Lots. He can't sleep because he is scared he won't wake up, scared he will. You need to start being real for him" she reached out and touched his face, startling him as he hadn't realised how tall she was, "Sooner or later he will be gone and you don't want your last moments to be regretful. You want them to be gold."

"Babs, I don't know how" he whispered.

"Ask my Dad" she replied, "When Taddy was nearly dying he had to be real. Daddy is the biggest baby while it comes to Tad but he made Tad's world wonderful. It is a miracle he got better but Taddy has some sort of cat thing going with his lives."

"I will talk to him" he nodded, looking at his sleeping son.

Maybe Jack could help.


	45. Nuke 'em from space

"Actually I acted like a big baby having my binky taken away" Jack admitted, "I stomped my feet, forbid him from leaving me and basically had a tantrum more than once. I was horrid."

"God, I feel like I am exploding but in a silent sort of way." Stan said morosely, "Slow motion breaking apart and flying up into the air, blood everywhere."

"Yeah, hard to shoot something you can't actually get hold of" Jack nodded as he sighed, liking this man, "Stan, I might not have all the answers but I did learn that sometimes there aren't answers. Not the ones you want. Only more questions and pain."

"He's so delicate and I feel like if I can just feed him up, ya know?" Stan sighed.

"I thought tough love, then pleading, then an angry denial acing like it was all fixed might work" Jack laughed softly, "He was so patient. I know now it was because he was trying to help me process but at the time it infuriated me more. I knew I was being selfish when it was him who should have been getting pandered to, not the other way around. He knew, he felt it and he knew and it hurt him more than anything else that he couldn't just make me feel better if not himself."

"God, yes" Stan huffed, "He looks at me with those eyes that are older than mine will ever be, ya know?"

"Like they've had a preview" Jack nodded, "Ianto has had several near death experiences but cancer was the hardest. The others were things I could face. Accidents, injuries ya know? I could visualise a healing and recovery. Cancer was so...final. Like, I was cheated. Where was my chance to make it better?"

"Exactly" Stan said with a thump of the table, "I am his father but I can't fix it. What sort of bloody father can't protect his child from such a monster lurking in the bloody dark? We tell them there are no such things as monsters. God, Jack help me lie some more."

Jack held him gently against him as he sobbed into his chest, the pain too much and he was relieved the man was finally grieving. Had to happen sometime and the boy would not see the pain.

"I love our kids, the reason I tried to stay strong" Jack said after Stan had wound down, "I know if they were not clinging to me I would have kept my gun close. I think I would have been that selfish and morose. I might have killed myself if I lost him. Sometimes I look at him laughing or just nodding off to sleep in the sun and feel so...gods, I don't have a word. Full."

"Lyn is trying to be brave too but she clings to me for strength, I feel there is nothing left" Stan sighed as he scrubbed at his face with tissues, "I am the man, the big strong rock. God, I wanna scream and hurl things and collapse on the floor like the kids."

"Come see us, anytime you need to vent, breathe or shoot something. Hey, ever fired a gun?" Jack asked, "I have a permit ya know, I used to be Heddlu. A real Captain. Wanna come shoot some cardboard cut-outs? I am allowed on the shooting range at the academy. You can pretend they are the cancer cells. Worked for me."

Stan looked at Jack with interest, "I have never even seen a real gun."

"Come on, I'll get Bertha out" Jack said excitedly, "My grenade launcher. You need to really feel the impact. Kill the fuckers."

Stan found himself lighter for the cry and the way Jack hadn't belittled him or made a big deal of it helped too. As he stood on the range and tucked the bazooka style thing against his side like Jack showed him and then pressed the tiny little almost insignificant button ... he felt a surge of pleasure.

For the first time since the diagnosis that would herald the loss of his only son Stan felt himself smile as the target evaporated.

.

.

.

.

Watching a child die is the hardest thing. A family friend's child was diagnosed at five. We all watched her fight for several years as more of her was cut away. (Not just the cancer but herself as well.) When she finally succumbed it was a horrible relief. She was finally free. Sometimes people overlook the Quality over Quantity thing. She had been a wonderful vivacious child full of cheek and delight, shining like a brilliant star. The girl we buried was barely sparking in the end and full of nothing but pain and confusion. Life sucks, cancer sucks as does anything that can steal a child like the monster slinking from the closet in the darkness. We tell them there are no such things as monsters yet we know they are everywhere.


	46. pride and pleasure

"I can't believe you did that" Greg was laughing as his father proudly held up the remains of the cardboard cut-out complete with a huge charred hole in the middle.

"It was too hot to handle at first, we had to stomp on it to put the fire out. Gods, it was epic son!" Stan said with glee, not having to pretend to be pleased as he glowed with joy. Jack had brought him straight from the range before the adrenalin had waned and now he stood before his son looking every inch the macho man and his son was looking at him with open admiration.

"Dad and his guns, you know he once blew up a car" Babs said to Greg who gaped.

"controlled explosion" Jack said haughtily to her, "Only your Tad kills cars young lady."

She giggled as she shook a finger at him, "I'll tell him you said that."

Jack's eyes grew wide with alarm, "Don't you bloody are. You know it's Thursday. He always wears the silk PJs on a Thursday and lets me rub against him like a cat while he makes the cocoa."

The children started to giggle as Jack ground and writhed in place like an exotic dancer complete with facial expressions of pure lust, "Ahhhhh, I think it's the red ones tonight."

"Dad you are so gross" Babs giggled as her hands clasped Greg's gently and Jack grinned at her as he pouted and popped a pose so his arse was on display.

"Can't help it if this has to party"

"Gross man!" Babs snorted more as she said to Greg, "Taddy always slaps it and makes him squeal as he tells him to get the hell away from the hot drinks."

"Yeah" Jack sighed dreamily, "Really flicks his wrist into it too."

Greg was laughing, his eyes sparkling as he waved a hand in the air, "Stop, stop. TMI!"

"TMI?" Jack said with an innocent look, "Tell Me Intimates?"

"EWWWWW" both kids squealed with horror and Jack laughed in Hero Pose as he watched Stan joining in and he knew he had done his job.

"Well, I am gonna go find Taddy, his car is in the parking lot so he's probably with you Uncle Owie doing unspeakable things us kind hearted folk need not know about" Jack said as he yanked his pants up with excitement, "They really don't think we know they are evil mad scientists trying to take over the world. Did you know Ianto actually scared the milk formula company into sending free samples of all their products so he could find a better one for the Imp? Not little sachets, oh no. Full tins of the stuff. I swear to god, having an evil genius in the family is a scary thing sometimes."

He waltzed out and left them to it, letting Stan be the man.

It had been nice to see Greg's joy in his father's smile.


	47. Always plans

Ianto was sitting on the sofa that was unusually bereft of files and magazines with Imp in his lap as he and Owen talked, Ton exploring the office with glee.

_Uncle Owie has the coolest shit._

"He might be lactose intolerant" Owen was nodding, "I think there can be no harm in trying that formula for him, after all he has plenty to come and go on with the last weight gain."

"I will try his afternoon feed which is a smaller amount so if it doesn't agree I have time to settle him before the evening...ah..."

"Yan?"

"Will you be angry if I whisper that I am giving him solids to get him through?" Ianto grimaced, "So hungry, not like the others at all. He loves food. If I put some farex in the bottle for the last feed he sleeps through til the morning one. He gets all excited too, loves it. Only when he has had a colicky day he is nervous about drinking anything at all. I hate seeing him not want the bottle from fear. He is too young to know that feeling. Barely five months."

"He's a big fella for one who started so small, mind Tonny here was little at first, then exploded within the first couple of weeks. How he got his name." Owen nodded, making the boy in question turn to look at him with interest.

"But it is my name" he said calmly.

"Carlton" Ianto reminded him, "you are Carlton after your Granddaddy. Dad's father. Remember? Your first Dad and Mama named you. It got shortened to Ton."

"Yah. See? My name" Ton rolled his eyes, "He's the Imp coz he's small. He's just ...just...making skin for when he's bigger."

Owen roared with mirth at the boy's explanation for the growth of baby Imp and slapped at Ianto as he sniggered and agreed with Ton, as you always did in the end, "Yes love, a lot to grow into."

"Right, the weekend might be doable" Owen said as he brought the conversation back to point, "Me and Toshi can come stay, I can monitor the boy and give him the midnight meds and such. It might be his last time out of this place."

"I know" Ianto sighed, "I had hoped Christmas but it will be here in the hospital, if he holds out that long. Babs has three cars in mind and I will sway her to the little automatic Austin Martin that will make a horrible noise as it hits the potholes. They will love it and the poor thing is almost at the end of its life too. Was gonna sell it for parts."

"Ton? Are you going to let Greg drive your special road?" Owen asked as Ton swung to land in a tangled mess in his lovely Uncle's lap and he threw his arms around him.

"Yeah, I share" he said in baby talk as he snuggled in and Owen took a moment to be a gushy fool as he kissed Ton's cheek and crooned.

"guess what Tonny bum"

"What."

"Aunty Toshi and I are gonna get a baby too, the adoption people have found one in an orphanage overseas that we might be able to have" he whispered and Ianto smiled as he watched Ton go still. "What do you think? Big Uncle Ton."

Ton squealed and Imp jumped in Ianto's lap with surprise then squealed too.

Ton realised he quite liked babies ya know.


	48. rubbing

"Bethy understands" Babs nodded as she licked her ice-cream, "She thinks it is sweet that he wanted a girlfriend. After all, he will not get to get married and have babies like we will. I am so lucky to have her. She is so much like her Dad, aye."

"Yes, as gentle hearted as Connor" Ianto agreed as he kissed his love and rose to see to some hot chocolates to wash down the naughty ice-cream. Spoiler.

"Jack?" Jack was not in the kitchen and Ianto wondered why as the silk PJs swished around him, he felt strangely bereft without his personal pole dancer.

"Taddy? Dad said he's in the bedroom" Ton said as he accepted his hot chocolate and took it to bed, the DVD player on pause and the rest of the house settled to watch TV with the tray of drinks placed down with the chips. Ianto walked to the bedroom and stopped as he looked at the rose petals scattered on the floor.

"I know, they are silk, nor real and I will pick them up after" Jack purred as he suddenly plastered himself to his back, "I remember the way you tantrumed after the ones in the bed marked the sheets."

"I did not tantrum" Ianto pouted as hands slid into his PJ bottoms and started to explore, leaning back into that lovely....corset?

Ianto turned to find Jack looking delectable in a black corset red lipstick to match Ianto's PJs and the black fuzzy wig. He looked more like Frank .N Furter than Ianto ever did.

"Happy anniversary" Jack whispered, "Our first wedding."

"Well, and me without a gift" Ianto said, then made a noise, "Or is there."

Jack froze, "You remembered too?"

"Our bedside wedding before you were rushed to surgery? Yeah, did forget but then this niggling little thing in the back of my mind..." Ianto laughed as Jack squeezed and growled, smashing their mouths tighter as that horrible day was remembered always. The day they wanted to be together forever.

"So, lovely" Ianto stepped back to examine Jack, "New. I like the little red bows too, so sexy. I hope it's not too tight, I am gonna ride you like a fucking horsie."

Jack made a noise of delight as he rushed for the bed, panting as Ianto glanced over at the sleeping tyke and then made a decision. Jack looked on with open shock as Ianto carefully rolled the little crib from the room and down to the room that was John's once upon a time. He slid the baby in there amongst the almost finished nursery things and returned to the bedroom.

"Monitor is on, he's dead to the world until at least five" Ianto said as he let Jack undo the PJ top, "I have bad things to do tonight that such an innocent wee soul should not know the horrors of."

Jack's hands stalled as he found a corset waiting or him, this one candy stripped. He slid back the jacket to find it even had a little medical cross on the top where the breasts were...breasts, how the hell had he missed those.

"Now Captain, you have been a naughty, naughty boy" Ianto said haughtily, "I wonder how these corsets will feel rubbing together, hmm?"

Jack groaned as he flopped back, unable to control his lust as he let Ianto land in him.

They felt terrific if you were wondering.

Wonder they didn't combust.


	49. Imp's prison bars tested

Jack was trying to get the cot finished, grunting as he tried to get the wrench around the bolt as Carl calmly held the nut in place with his own tool. (Yeah I know...soooo many possible jokes there.)

Ianto was sitting with the children as they did cutting up and pasting into scrapbooks, loving the mess and noise. Ifan and Prim were talking excitedly about their upcoming birthday and all the kids were giving ideas for possible themes. There were at least eight children, some names escaping him but Babs knew them all as she supervised like a good woman.

Having a night without the Imp had given Jack fresh purpose and as the little fella sat happily in his beanbag watching the children his lovely Daddy was finishing his room so tonight he would be there again.

CRASH

Maybe.

Ton came out and looked around furtively, then stared as Ianto and stepped back into the hall to hiss, "Nah. I don't think he heard it!"

Ianto tried not to laugh at the covert mission to gauge his attention, Badger walking past with a look of horror. "Ton? It everything OK son?"

"Good, good. Dad is just trying things out for...¦.ah....durability." Ton said then frowned, "Is that a real word?"

"Durability, strength and resilience." Ianto nodded, "Good job love."

Ton nodded and furtively slid along the wall like some weird spy comedy as Babs leaned back to watch then looked at her Tad, "Should I go check?"

"No, it's OK. It didn't sound too..."

BANG

"...bad."

Thump

Thud

Crack

Giggling as the children looked at each other, Babs rose to let the little ones have her spot at the coffee table and she snuck into the hall to listen, then returned.

"It's OK. Something is suck on Dad, or he is stuck in something. Best leave them to it, Uncle Carl is laughing so it's nothing too serious. Mustn't be any blood" she said as she curled op on the sofa to watch the little ones, "Tad? Is it babyish that I like doing this still?"

"Well what would that make me then, I still scrapbook love. This is how you learn. Those wonderful collages you do and frame for the hallway? You learnt by doing this when you were a child."

To hear him refer to her as an adult filled her with joy and she hugged herself for a moment before leaning back, "I want to make one for Greg's parents."

"Talk to Fen and Walt then, when they are here at the weekend be sure to get lots of shots for a wonderful one. Fen is here until Monday, right? All smiles and no Cancer allowed." Ianto suggested and she shot off to ask, tiptoeing past the nursery door and not able to resist peeking in.

Jack was twisting as he snarled at Carl to help, the cot around him like some sort of medieval torture device as Carl giggled and snorted, hunting for a release button.

Trust Dad to build the damned thing upside down and then have the locks in place.

At least it worked


	50. Feeing Alive

Stan looked at the keys dangling from Ianto's hand with confusion.

"The green Austin Martin in the driveway. That's the one he will drive. Best you drive it to the field and then help him slide into the driver's seat and don't explain the controls until you are in the passenger seat or that maniacal daughter of mine will yell 'floor it' and he will run you over, believe me I have a dozen scenarios of what might happen today."

Stan laughed as he accepted the keys from his friend. His good friend, a wonderful one too.

They had arrived that morning and Greg had been pleased with the sofa bed in the main room, big enough for his parents and sleep with him, his sister and brother would take the other beds in the cool little tents in opposite corners of the room.

Owen and Tosh had a chalet as it was a quiet weekend and they were still getting used to the idea of becoming parents as the adoption became more real.

"What if he dings it?" Stan asked with horror as he looked at the expensive machine.

"Jack shot it" Ianto said as it that explained everything, "The engine block got a direct hit so it only has a few miles left, overheats. I am amazed it still goes at all. I can now say with all certainty I am not the only car killer now."

Ianto had told Stan of the previous car 'murders' and he knew Ianto was being silly as the machine looked pristine but also his son was listening and would not worry about damaging it now.

"Come on, you're like death warmed up" Babs chortled as she shoved past and Stan balked as his son roared and followed her unsteadily as he told her he would withhold the kissy lips now.

"Whistling in the graveyard" Ianto said softly, "The best way. Tell him it's OK, he's dying. So what, still has to mind his manners. It's a fact, why make it something other than just part of him now."

"It's getting easier" Stan admitted as Babs leaned over the bonnet of the car in starlet pose with Greg as the boys took shots, "I can look at him and not feel like screaming. I can see him again, not the disease."

"Cancer is an alien monster." Ianto said with that grim frown, "It's a big ugly beast of an arsehole thing and it is not your son, it is the thing in his shadow. Remember that. It is something he cannot escape but it does not define him."

"If it were not for you and your ..."

"Hush. Don't start waxing lyrical and being all lovey-dovey. We have partners and I don't think they would understand our love affair" Ianto batted his eyelashes and sashayed away as Stan found himself laughing with uncontainable glee.

For a whole five or six seconds he forgot all together.

For a moment or two his son's cancer was not there in his mind.

Then he turned to look at his son as he struck a James Bond pose and it all flooded back.

He looked so damned handsome in the suit Ianto had miracled up claiming it was an old one of Walter's. The aviator sunglasses finished the look as his son shone like a diamond in the bright sunshine.

His sun.

Babs, the celestial being who filled his son with warmth.


	51. bumpy but fun

Greg was nervous but excited as well, Babs sitting behind him with her hand on his shoulder as she whispered that she was so excited she might pee herself. "Taddy didn't even let Dad drive this one."

Stan climbed into the front passenger seat and turned to his son, looking at the blonde head nestled against his bald one as Babs leaned forward form the back and their matching grins were wonderful.

"So, the brake and the accelerator" Stan explained as he pointed down at the pedals, "Push the brake down and then we move it into gear here, you want D for drive."

They shot off into the field as Stan screamed with horror and Babs squealed with glee, her scarf flying back as Ton shouted from Rocky, "Get on the path, you'll scare the rabbits."

Stan was laughing now as he clung on for dear life, letting his son choose what to do as the car shuddered and pig jumped along, then took off at speed again as they all screamed now.

"Good thing the horses are in the other paddock" Jack said to Stan's wife as they stood at the gate with Ianto and he sighed as he turned to his husband.

"The creek. They do know about the bridge, right?"

"Um...Babs does" Jack said uncertainly as they watched, then sighed with relief as the car sailed over the small curved bridge, catching air as the occupants all screamed and stan's 'Jesus Christ' echoed around the village.

Manny walked up the drive with pizzas followed by his children who all took off for Ianto as other villagers started ot arrive and soon a little garden party had begun. They brought the car to a halt and all rolled about the seats laughing and slapping at each other, Stan choking as he tried ot tell them all about Babs sliding across the seat and grabbing his head.

Greg was lagging and Ianto nervously let him drive the car back to the house where it was parked in the sun.

"Why is it making that weird plunking noise?" Greg asked as his father knelt to listen to the weird sounds under the hood.

"Told you, Jack shot it" Ianto sighed, "The bullet has worked its way into one of the pistons I think."

Stan gaped as Jack walked past with a tray of fruit for the children and he snorted at them, "It was only a bloody .22 how was I supposed to know the daft old beggar had a loaded gun in the rafters. Old bugger. Heck had put it up there and forgotten about it I guess."

Stan laughed as he shook his head.

God this family were crazy.

Thank God for them.


	52. a kiss is but a kiss

Greg was waning, curled on the bed made under the large marquee that had been erected in the front yard and the sun was still warm as it started to leave them for the evening.

Greg had been snoozing, then sat up to lay back in the many pillows, thinking of the movies with the rich people laying there looking at their Harlem or whatever. Babs did look like a blond Cleopatra with her hair tied back behind her ears, her plats had ribbons though it and she looked so pretty. She said her Taddy did her hair, his long fingers gentle as he made her into his princess in the mornings and Greg wondered what it felt like, running fingers through her hair.

She turned towards him and he knew if he didn't ask now he never would.

"Babs, I...I would really like a kiss."

"Oh, sure" she started to pat her pockets for a set of lips and he placed his hand shakily over hers shaking his head.

"No. Not a kiddy one. I...I really want to know what a kiss is like" he whispered, nervous and embarrassed, "Parents and stuff don't count and I really want to know. I see your fathers kiss, my parents and...I want to know. What a kiss is like when someone loves you."

Babs blinked and glanced at Bethy who was sitting nearby, her slight nod of approval enough for Babs to smile and cant her head, "well, to tell the truth, I've never been kissed by a boy. And I do love you so it's a nice idea for it to be you. The only boyfriend I've ever had. I will marry Bethy one day, you will be my only boy. Ever."

Stan felt his wife seize his hand as she gaped and the place fell silent, bar the click of a camera shutter as their lips met, the sunlight turning to sunset flame behind them.

Greg was so sure she was going to say no, so sure he would look a fool but to find she agreed and felt the same was enough for him to feel like a real man. So grown up.

Her lips were soft, she smelt fantastic and he felt like a full grown man.

He felt alive.

Best day ever.


	53. Nasty trick of the light

Jack entered the house and called out softly knowing this was the wee man's afternoon snooze time. He walked through the kitchen from the side door and into the main room then froze, his heart filling his mouth as he looked at Ianto on the floor.

Imp lay on his little rug kicking energetically as the afternoon sun came in and he seemed oblivious to his Taddy lying prone on the floor beside him. Jack sat and studied his husband, swallowing hard as he tried to get himself strong enough to kneel down and touch him. What if he's cold? What if he's warm?

Jack rubbed his hands on his trousers and looked at their little son laying there staring back, his little face so open and waiting for Jack to pick him up no doubt. Oh gods, he needed Ianto.

Finally he got the strength to slide from the chair to his knees and he reached tentatively from Ianto's wrist, his bottom lip bitten between his teeth as he tried to will his fingers so slide over the pulse point.

Oh my love.

Ianto snorted and rolled making Jack fall back against the sofa with shock, then he started to laugh softly at himself for thinking the worst. Then he started to cry, holding his head in his hands as he told himself Ianto was OK, just asleep in the sun like his baby.

"Jack?" Ianto woke to his weeping husband, crawling over to comfort him, "what's wrong? Love? what happened?"

"You scared me" Jack sobbed, clinging to Ianto as he breathed him in with greedy gulps.

"Huh?"

"I came in and saw you on the floor and I...I panicked" Jack sighed, in control now as he held his warm alive husband tightly, "Oh Gods, don't leave me."

"Oh Cariad, I'm sorry" Ianto gasped with horror, "I was singing to him and fell asleep. Hey, I promise that I am feeling healthy. Owen will say the same. My bloods are good, my kidney function is good, my husband is sexy."

"Oh gods, I love you" Jack sighed, "That was mean."

"I'm sorry" Ianto slid into Jack's lap and kissed him, his hands wiping his face, "I never want to leave, hey it's OK."

"Sorry" Jack sniffed, "This thing with Babs and wee Greg. I think I am just feeling a bit sooky."

"Early night? Comfy PJs and a movie in bed? Your choice? I'll even hold back on the complaining and let some food in the bed" Ianto said as he comforted his love.

Jack buried his face in Ianto's neck and breathed him in some more.

Imp looked back to his fingers and left them to it.

He knew he would get a cuddle too.


	54. we all float in the end

"It feels like I'm drowning" Greg said as his hand squeezed hers and Babs leaned closer, letting her hair brush his cheek. The chemo was almost done, another ten or twelve minutes and Babs was getting good at judging the time.

"What do you want to do" she asked, aware that his parents had stopped talking and were listening to their every word.

"I'm tired Babsy" he sighed, "I don't want to do this anymore. This stuff hurts, I feel it in my blood running through my body like lava. It hurts and then I puke and feel like shite. Then they sigh and shake their heads and tell me another one."

"Maybe it will help?" she asked and he shook his head.

"No. I won't get out of this" he sighed softly as he looked at her soft smile, her lovely face full of nothing but acceptance, "I'm going to die either way. This buys time, nothing else and why should I live what time I have left feeling like this? Why can't I spend my last time feeling better?"

"Because it all sucks" she replied gently, her hand now stroking his head, "Life sucks and it's all bullshit anyway. Have you not worked that out yet Greggers?"

Greg grinned, "So...this is all just some sort of joke?"

"Greg, you said you were drowning" she said gently, "I remember Taddy talking to me about that. I was still quite small. Heck had died and I was so sad. I said to him it was hard to breathe, it felt like drowning."

"What did he tell you?" Greg whispered.

"That we all drown. We all falter and flail about while we gasp at the dirty water called grief" she frowned as she tried to remember it all, "We all hit the bottom of the ocean and lie there in the mud and mire while the world floats above us. I asked what happens to us next."

"And?"

"He said we have to let it go, one piece at a time like big bags of sadness. Each bag we drop from our pocket lets us rise a little more, rise a little more until we reach the surface. He said Sorrow and Depression are like the same. Taddy gets depressed sometimes. He hides it but I know he does. He tells me sometimes now I am old enough to understand, he says it's a blue day. He has times where he doesn't like himself. He said he learnt to swim. Not everyone does but in the end all you can do is let yourself float and like in the swimming pool, when you stop struggling you float to the surface. The hurts and angers are too heavy. We can float away and leave them behind in the dark."

"Will I be left in the dark?" Greg asked.

"Don't be silly, ya great nob" she giggled, "You are the light we float towards. When you die you rise from the water to the warmth of the next place. That's why people say you go into the light. See? Those good things are what makes us float. The bags of sorrow are heavy our bags of joy are like balloons."

"I'm a balloon" he sighed as he settled to sleep and Babs leaned back, looking over at his parents. "I like that. A big balloon of laughter and glitter and sugary stuff."

"Yes you are" she sighed, "And balloons float up into the clouds where angels are waiting to enjoy them."


	55. sorrows

"What is it?" Jack asked as Ianto sighed softly for the umpteenth time since they had settled in the bed.

"Sorry" Ianto rolled away from him and Jack was suddenly annoyed.

"Ianto, after all this time you would think we could have a bloody conversation without pulling teeth. What is upsetting you. Is it me? Just tell me what I did, or didn't do." Jack sighed as he closed his book after reading the same sentence again.

"It's Greg" Ianto muttered, "There is nothing we can do. I just wish there were, you've not done and forgotten to do anything Cariad. I'm just in a funk."

"Yeah" Jack felt stupid for his complaining as he reached out to place his hand on Ianto's shoulder, "I know love."

"I don't think he will make Christmas either" Ianto rolled to face Jack and that downturned mouth was terrible to see, "I sneaked a peek at his chart and he's waning. It's too soon. He is in his second wind which means he is winding down."

"Second wind?"

"Sometimes when dying, the body gets a sudden burst. Some say the body realises and tried to rally, others say the body realises and wants one more day of normalcy" Ianto shrugged, "The Second Wind is the beginning of the end. I think he is there, this energy the last few days and the feeling well enough to walk about and eat again, I think it is his soul having one last look around before departing. I don't know how to tell her, how to explain what my soul sees."

"Oh baby" Jack sighed as he pulled Ianto close, knowing not to question Ianto's second sight. If he said Greg was going soon, he was going soon.

"He wanted one more Christmas, he keeps saying" Ianto sighed and nuzzled Jack's smooth chest, "Babs even had some decorations and stuff aside. Apparently he likes silver and blue. Winter wonderland."

Jack's hand stopped rubbing Ianto's back as he considered and Ianto looked up sensing something happening in Jack's brain box "Cariad? Thoughts?"

"He is near the end, doesn't know what day it is or isn't. The ads are on Telly already, the place already in selling mode about town with early decorations and painted windows. He's seen all that, hears the bloody Christmas Tunes playing at the nurse's station, right? Only a couple of months away." Jack said as he considered, "You sure he won't hang on?"

Ianto sighed and shook his head.

Jack's hand resumed rubbing as he considered.

If it were one of their babies...

Jack finally settled in and turned out the light as Ianto snored softly against him, so damned tired from the worry of it all.

Jack had a plan forming now.

.

.

.

.

My friend's Dad died last week, today is his Tangi (Funeral) and it is also the 10th aniversary of my Dad's death. A sad, hard day. Might not get any chaps down sorry. If there is no post tomorrow know it will be backxxxx


	56. taking charge

Jack talked to Owen first watching his face betray the truth and Jack knew Ianto was right. Weeks left, if they were lucky. Not the months needed.

Damn.

Jack walked out to the SUV and leaned against it considering, then got in and drove to the Firehouse compound where Idris was both surprised and delighted to see him, soon settling them both with something to drink. Ianto had taught him that ya know.

"So you want to give the boy Christmas early" Idris guessed immediately and Jack smiled as he nodded and leaned back in the sofa.

"Ianto is worried, Babs is almost beside herself with the thought that one of his wishes isn't going to come true. I know it's not an easy ask but I also know Ianto would throw himself into it with abandon and ...gods Idi. The other day I found him on the floor and thought he was dead. He had fallen asleep in the floor while tending to Impy. I just...I don't want him to overdo it anymore. Each moment is so precious, he will burn his own star out to light someone else's."

"Yeah" Idris sighed, "True that."

"The theme is sliver and blue, the boy apparently likes the chill colours. I also think it is no accident that they are also the colours of the show. He is such a fan of it" Jacks explained and Idris leaned back to rub his chin as he thought about it.

"Right. We need Eugene" Idris rose and picked up the phone. Ianto's Tad there within a matter if minutes and he sat while listening then started to plan, a pad and pen appearing from thin air almost, like a bloody magician and Jack could see where Ianto got it from.

"I will talk to the studio" Eugene said as he worked on his list, "Last year's set is still there as they said to me the other day they were still thinking pulling it down to start this year's for the Christmas special taping. I am sure given what I have seen so far this year's theme will be autumn colours. The blue and silver will be scrapped, we might as well take it if we can, save a lot of hassle getting a whole Christmas so early, now we just need food and a few other things."

"The boys can do the grunt work, I'll talk to Skiddy. He's been watching the boy and twisting trying to think of something to do that might help, you know the wee maiden had a sweet spot in his heart, still so proud that he was chosen as her guardian. He can round up the men to do the work, Ianto need only tisk and make that pursed mouth look as he reviews what they are doing and tweaks it with that third bloody eye thing" Idris nodded as Jack relaxed.

The art of handing over the problems was something he was still perfecting but he knew trusting his family was the only way to get this done without Ianto's overtaxing of the situation and himself.


	57. admissions

"You what?" Ianto gaped at his husband who stood there happily explaining what he had done.

"Not just me love, your Tad and Brother-in-law are doing it really. I just went and told them my idea. Skidmark and the other boys will do the hard yakka, you can oversee the final placements and we can surprise the kids." Jack gushed, still watching Ianto's face as he stared at him.

"And the studio?"

"Happy for us to break the set up for them, were going to do it next week anyway. Your Tad is right, warm autumn tones this year instead going in for the Christmas Scene. I just can't believe the set was still there, Gods that back lot is huge." Jack nodded.

"Where will we put it?" Ianto's eyes were getting shifty and for the first time Jack saw Ton in Ianto's furtive, no so subtle thinking. Jack loved him so much this lovely mad man of his.

"At the hospital so they can all enjoy it" Jack laughed, "Already sorted that too. Owen is excited about that one, he talked to the powers that be and we are allowed to take over one of the meeting rooms and transform it, the one that had the doors that open into the little garden. Idris thinks he can decorate out there as well so the boy can wear a toggle hat or something and sit outside, drink hot chocolate like Christmas time. Skiddy is going nuts, think he might find snow and truck it in, have you heard of the like?"

Ianto laughed softly as he considered, "You can hire snow machines, we need the temperature low enough for them to wok though."

"Really?"

"They use them on the ski fields to get the nice powder. Yeah." Ianto nodded as he sat and pulled his laptop around, "I wonder if there are any in the area that we can beg borrow or...shit. Don't' tell Skid, he would steal it wouldn't he."

Jack sat and watched Ianto work knowing he could not have kept it from him longer as we would have been hurt to not be included. This way he was minimalising his efforts in it and still making sure it had the Ianto touch that made everything shiny.

"I love you" Jack said softly, Ianto pausing in his typing to look over at him and smile, then Ianto leaned forward and their lips met.

"Show me later big boy" Ianto purred, "It's been days...days since you last touched me. I'm getting withdrawals over here."

Jack laughed at the cheekiness and grabbed Ianto's face, kissing him again.

As if he could go days without touching him, even an hour seemed too long.


	58. preperation is key

Idris and Skidmark were arguing as Gene stood with his Tad watching.

"I have my money on Idris" Gene said loyally and Eugene snorted.

"No son, Skidmark stands up to him these days, having the responsibility of the Babbit has given him a backbone. Seems her wishes trump Idris' with these boys, she's got them wrapped around her little finger" Eugene said as Idris threw his hands in the air and seized the other side of the large outside sofa, moving it to the other corner of the garden.

Skidmark had the snow on its way, enough to give the garden a small carpet of the stuff and he was determined to get the outside area decorated so it would not be walked on once laid. Pristine was his word of the day so it seemed and the way his face screwed up on the 'ine' part was pure Babs.

"I am just glad we could fit the smaller trees inside, the big one does look nice out here though" Gene turned to find Jack walking towards them with Ianto in tow. Ianto stepped out and looked around then looked at the massive tree in the middle of the garden again.

"Skiddy? Is that staying there?" he asked calmly as everyone froze at the sound of Toto entering the planning.

"What do you want?" Skidmark asked eagerly.

"If you move the tree into the corner behind the sofa then the photos will look wonderful, full of the colours and lights behind them. It will also mean they have room to dance. I know Babs will want to dance with him at least once to something sappy. A dance with Bethy too, she has been such a good sport. We could make this like a school ball style scene as well. Give them some lovely memories" Ianto said as everyone gushed.

"Live band" Eugene said as he pulled his phone from his pocket, "That nice one that played at the dance recital, remember? Ton looked like a bloody great elephant lumbering through the set as the little girls all danced in their wee leotards. They loved him of course."

"Of course" Jack bristled slightly at his baby being called an elephant as Ianto watched Jack bristle with open affection.

"River will have their details" Ianto said calmly as he walked over and pulled his simmering husband into a hug to soothe, "The school uses them for a few things these days. I think they have someone that even plays the harp if I recall. The lady with the silver in her hair."

"Oh wow, a harp." Eugene swung to stare back into the room, "We could set it up over by the fire."

Gene and Eugene took off to measure the space, Skidmark shooting after them as Ianto rubbed Jack's shoulders and crooned softly, "He didn't mean it in a bad way love, you know Ton thought it was all brilliant. And you have to admit, our boy in a bloody leotard was hilarious."

"He was fantastic" Jack defended his best wee friend and Ianto kissed him lovingly.

Proud of all his family.

Jack finally smiled as he hugged his best big friend, his love. His life.

He was doing all this for him too, right?


	59. last day

It was perfect, Greg gaping as he stood with the toggle hat pulled down.

Skidmark had done well with the snow, a soft covering and even some in the tree for extra effect. The lights of the tree were on and the heat lamps looked like street lights as they were placed around the edges of the garden, high on boxes so they wouldn't melt the snow too quickly. The band played and the entre place had a Christmas feel.

"I don't know what to say" he said meekly, letting Babs and his Dad help him to the sofa where he sat and accepted the blanket over his legs, his eyes wide with the wonder of it all.

Ianto sat and sang as he and Walter played guitars, the acoustic versions of Jingle Bells and I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus almost Jamaican hip hop as he laughed and clapped, still overcome with the effort.

There were gifts and eggnog, hot chocolate then more cakes and little mince pies that Jack ate far too many of, Ton trying to keep up until both flopped back and loosened their pants at the same time.

They kissed under the mistletoe, they danced lazily to some music as the others joined in, Jack holding Ianto tightly as he whispered his affections in his ear leaving Ianto blushing and breathless at the lurid promises being made.

"Don't make a promise you can't keep" Ianto whispered back, "Your mouth is writing those cheques again."

Jack pulled him close so their groins rubbed, "Call that a bluff?"

"Oh my, Captain!" Ianto gushed, "you naughty man you."

"I love you" Jack whispered, "my beautiful dream."

"Mushy sod" Ianto snorted, his delight evident as he looked at Jack through his lashes then leaned in to kiss him.

"Always" Jack agreed lovingly, then looked over at his daughter as she sang softly to Greg with Walter, their hands clutched together as he shone with glee.

A good day.

Babs knew it would be his last good day so she didn't want it to end, sitting by him as he drifted off up in the hospital room singing another song to him as she stroked his head, fuzzy hair so soft and meanly mocking as he had suffered so much to finally get hair back at the end.

Babs rose and kissed him softly then turned to leave, hesitating as her hand slid into her pocket and she removed the lips in there, placing them by his head on the pillow.

"I love you Greg" she whispered, "Know that you are so loved."

For a last good day, it was the best.


	60. tick tock

Babs wanted in their bed and Ianto was glad to let her in his side, Ton now happily in his Daddy's arms anyway.

_Seems that cheque had to be cashed another day._

They lay there in the dark for a long time, Ianto stroking her hair as she snuffled and cried softly. Ianto waited for it and the phone rang just after midnight. He waited for a moment as his daughter's eyes opened to look at him and he reached for it, the conversation quiet and short. Nothing really to say except what they knew would come.

Greg was gone.

It was silent. Calm even as they lay there with Jack and Ton snorting on the other side of the bed, Ianto's hands still stroking her lovely hair. The night was long and by dawn they had slid from the bed and started breakfast, Babs watching her father as his hands moved with that stealth she knew so well.

_Magic being cast with those fingers._

"He was happy" she said softly "It was a good last day."

"Yes" Ianto agreed, "It was a keeper. He went happy and full of love."

They nodded as they worked and soon Fen was stumbling in yawning, "Morning gremlins. Ah, pancakes? Really Tad? Yum."

"You OK love?" Ianto asked and Fen hummed, as always lax to talk. A loner this one, more used to his books and thoughts than conversing with others. He reminded Ianto a lot of himself and he knew it was Alice shining through as the boy soldiered on without complaint happy to get lost in the mad shuffle of this family. One by one they emerged, drawn by the smell of beakfast.

"Greg died" Babs finally said it out loud, stopping conversation and chewing as everyone looked at her, then their plates.

"It's OK" she assured them, "He was ready. He was not scared anymore. We gave him a brilliant send off, he was so happy. I am so glad we had such a wonderful day. Thank you all."

Ianto moved to the kitchen sink and Jack followed sliding in behind to hug, "You OK?"

"Sad" Ianto nodded, "Sad it had to be this way. Such a young soul. So much hurt and suffering. So not fair."

"I know love, but he's done with that now."

"Yes" Ianto turned to face him, his face serene and not teary like Jack had thought, "He is done with this mad life. I love you, you make so many of my days good my love. Please don't compare."

Jack smiled as he was caught out.

Of course there was no comparison.

Greg died alone.

When Ianto went, Jack knew he would die as well.

His heart could not possibly beat without Ianto's to keep the time.


	61. his choice

Ianto let them in, stepping aside as Gwen and Andy stomped their boots to shake off the mud and then wipe vigorously. He appreciated their efforts of respect.

They sat and he poured the coffee, then they enjoyed the coffee cake in silence.

"So" Ianto finally decided to bring it to the reason for the visit "Greg spent his last day with us. We have video footage and stills. He was happy and it was a lovely day."

"There was a high concentration of opioids in his system" Gwen said with obvious discomfort, "we are just trying to find where he got them from."

"Shit" Jack huffed "Well he was in the hospital the entire time. He was never off base except for here so he must have somehow got into a cart."

"It was strong, not something they have in the carts" Gwen said as she looked at Babs, "Someone had to bring it in."

"How dare you look at my daughter as you say that" Ianto snapped, "She doesn't even know what they are, she is a pure child. I will not hear about this somewhere else will I? I will sue. You know I will. The studio probably will too, Babs had nothing to do with that boy's death and everything to do with his life!"

"Well, we didn't think so. We just need to close out all the loose ends. It's likely he gained it somehow or one of the nurses did it" Andy assured him, "Poor wee bugger, in a better place now."

"I hope his family knows it was not Babs" Ianto leaned forward, "They are good friends and need comfort right now, not to lose friends."

"No, no" Andy assured them more as Gwen leaned back and closed her pad.

"Sorry this upset you but we had to be sure. I know this little one could no more kill the boy than a butterfly" Gwen said as they rose and left, Ianto still steaming as Jack got on the phone and started ranting to the lawyers.

Babs shook it off and started a game of monopoly they all settled in to play with her, all knowing they would let Ton win like they usually would.

Ianto left the dishes to play too and made a mental note to talk to Skiddy.

That had been a lovely thing to do.

He knew he had done it for the boy as much as the maiden he loved so much.

At least it explained why he had helped him to the toilet before settling him in the bed for Babs' goodnight songs.

The boy had another wish fullfilled in beating the cancer the only way he could.

He took his death from it and left on a high note.


	62. send in the clown

It was a peaceful send off with Babs sitting primly next to Walter at the front with Greg's family, the entire thing full of love and laughter as they watched the amazing tribute Fen created with Walter's photos and his film footage from the driving lesson day.

Then it changed to the last dance at Christmas Time Day, Babs holding his head to her chest as she sang softly, swaying with him to the song Walter and Ianto were singing in the background. There was hardly a dry eye in the house as Babs smiled and started to sing as well, then Greg pulled back and grinned at her, pouting for a kiss.

The camera panned in to catch the touch of lips and then faded out to Greg's sigh, "Nice one."

Then red lips appeared on the screen to fade as well.

Ianto rose and walked to the front, not using the microphone or stand, he chose to address everyone standing in front of Gerg's coffin.

"Life is a book. A gift. Something we are not guaranteed as a best seller. Something we forget is only on loan from the great library and the gods can decide to close out the book they are writing at any given moment. Greg was not a simple child, not a child at all in the end. His book of life might not be long but it is an action packed fun ride that finished as he lived. His way. My daughter was, is and will always be his first girlfriend, long after she is an old married woman she will remember her first and only boyfriend."

Ianto paused and let people settle before continuing, "As a cancer survivor I can tell you he was a warrior. Deserved to be acknowledged as one and in accordance with that we have arranged a fitting see off to a warrior of his calibre. The gun salute from the Black Powder Club will be loud so if you have small children cover their ears. This is non-negotiable. Greg wanted it. If you will all accept a balloon on the way out of the church so that they may be released at the graveside and carry your love up to Greg. There are several to choose from, from the standard helium balloon to some more personalised ones, of course the lips are from Babs. Ton chose a Viking helmet and Walter wanted to send him a toggle hat. I am sending him something he always likes, a book. Fen chose something I had not known about, something he had snuck Greg a few times apparently, M&Ms."

Some laugher stated as Jack rose, his balloon already in his hand and they looked at the Austin Martin car.

"That one had not been aerated" Ianto said with more laugher starting as Jack pouted.

"I told you that was an accident, Jeez. Shoot one wee car and you never let me forget. Every argument, there it is like an elephant in the room!" Jack said with fake sorrow.

"And the little yellow ducky is from our youngest player, Ifan. Please, there are all sorts and you may find one that can symbolise something for you, Greg will love any and all as he likes a good laugh too."

The coffin sat as the men of the village, along with a couple of women, raised their rifles and shot into the air. The volley of sound the applause for a good soldier.

They stood at the graveside and released the balloons, a menagerie of animals, everyday objects, lips and a huge yellow duck floated up onto the cosmos.

"Love you Greggers!" Ton shouted as he wore his own Viking helmet and waved, "Send us rainbows sometimes."

Babs blinked and then started to laugh.

What an apt request.


	63. SuperTad

Ton was following Ianto around silently and Ianto was doing his best to let him without scolding for the occasional slam into his back but eventually he turned to face the gleeful cherub.

"Darling, that is a funny game to be a shadow but can you go try and be Daddy's for a while?" he asked softly.

"Why?"

"Darling my poor old back isn't built for that game, when you bang too hard it hurts" Ianto explained and then sighed as Ton's face crumbled at the thought of hurting his Taddy. "Not big hurts. Enough to be an ouch love. OK? Taddy loves you so much and knows you would never hurt me. MY back is just buggered."

Ton nodded and went to find his Daddy, "Daddy?"

"Ah, thank Gods, pass me that cloth quick before Taddy sees I spilt the paint" Jack said frantically.

"Daddy? I didn't mean to hurt Taddy, I was just banging his back why did it hurt him?"

Jack stopped working on the paint spill that was beyond his mortal powers and looked at his son, then considered. Ton needed the right answer.

"Once upon a time Walter fell down from way up high and Taddy turned into Super Tad. He flew up to grab his baby and keep him safe, just like he would you and when they crashed down to earth the only way Tad could protect Walter was to land first so Walter landed in a cuddle of safety and love. Because Taddy used up his one ever allowed super power to fly, there was not one to protect himself, was there. So Taddy broke something in his back that is always broken. Taddy is strong and got over it, like he does but the broken part is still there. It hurts, aches and makes him feel old. Why he needs his cane sometimes. The Mayoral Motor was not just because he was Cancer sick, the Cancer liked the broken bits and made them feel worse because Cancer is a bastard."

Ton considered and then smiled softly as he patted his Dad's arm, "But you forget something Daddy."

"What's that love?" Jack smiled as he saw the open affection he knew he would always get from this one.

"Taddy still has a super power."

"Oh does he now?"

"Yeah. The Power to 'Make it Better' silly billy."

Jack really couldn't argue with that one as he drew his clever monkey in for a kiss.

Yes.

He always kept that one behind the Clark Kent Glasses too.

His Super Man.


	64. morphing talk

"Tad?"

"Bedroom" Ianto replied then looked up as Stephen entered and looked around at the mess.

"Wow, good for you. Branching out into Harkness Madness are you?" Stephen asked with his usual quiet snark that always made Ianto grin.

"Yes, finally decided to see what it was all about. Harkness Bombsight Chic seems so understated now I've tried it. I see why you kids like it" he said in a silly voce, "Here I have my pile of Maybe. My pile of Not Fits But Keeping For No Apparent Reason and this pile is my I Don't Know Who's That Is Or Why It's In My Wardrobe. I have just started a new one I am simply calling Hell No Gotta Go. I assume you then let these settle for a week or two and the effect is complete."

Stephen giggled as he looked at the piles of clothing scattered about the room and walked over to one of the piles, "Well I can help you there. This pink shirt is Walter's. He wears it under the scratchy blue shirt for the show and thinks nobody will ever know he's wearing one if Babs' too big tops. Of course she loves the idea so she can steal it back and sleep in it. It's like an ongoing game."

"Well ya learn something every day" Ianto nodded as he flicked it into the washing basket by the door, "Check. Next?"

"OH WOW!" Stephen had pulled out a black body suit and held it up with wide eyes "A morph suit?"

"Is that what they call them these days? That was my cat burglar suit when I...er...you didn't hear that. Put it in the gone pile, my Parkour would never let me scale a drainpipe now." Ianto grimaced and Stephen gaped at him.

"Hey, I had a whole nother life before you kids. I was a real Hoodlum. Not an enforcer like your Uncle Gene. I was one of their infiltrators. No lock I couldn't pick, no window too high. Yeah" Ianto smiled as he plucked the black body suit from his son's hands and looked at it, "The Wolf. That's what they called me. The Bad Wolf. Loved it. Of course nearly crapped meself a few times but the adrenaline was off the charts."

"A criminal. A real life, bad arse criminal. Really?"

Ianto grinned, "Ask your Grandys. They will tell you, right wee bastard was Toto. Yeah. Huh, funny, to think what I was then. Like I was still waiting to find out who I was."

"And that was?"

"Me" Ianto smiled softly, "The man who loves his babies so much, and the mad man who raised them with him. Gods. Stephen I do so hope you find a partner to support, cajole and sometimes piss you right off like your Dad does for me. I wasn't really alive at all until he opened my heart and soul to the world. Here, take it."

Stephen accepted the bodysuit with glee as he watched his Tad smile at the mess some more, not even rubbing his neck like he once might have at the chore of cleaning it all up.

Taddy was so Yen.

Haaa.

Yen Yan.

Stephen went to try the suit on, hoping his package looked huge, then hesitated to laugh softly.

Yep.

A Harkness.


	65. morphing a problem into a solution

Jack knew he was in trouble as the crunch of gravel warned him a fraction too late that his cobbled courtyard had muffed his beloved's footsteps until reaching the pathway around the cabins and now all he could do was pretend he didn't know there was a problem as he calmly scooped bright red pebbles off the path while Ton held the bucket.

"Hi Taddy. Daddy spilled the paint again" Ton dumped him in it with the usual aplomb and Jack stifled the snort of amusement at the innocent smile on the face of the wee devil.

"So I see darling. Red roof paint."

"Yes, very red" Ton answered with a sage nod of his head, "At least it's not looking like blood. Clearly paint. I mean, blood is darker in the movies, right?"

"Yes love, bright cherry red cannot be mistaken for a crime scene by a professional horror movie expert such as yourself and Daddy's hands wouldn't get so covered with the paint if it were watery blood" Ianto leaned against the cabin and watched his husband's arse for a while, then heard crunching, turning to see Stephen in the body suit coming towards them.

"Look, it fits!" Stephen's voice was slightly muffled but the scream from Ton even silenced the birds in the trees at the back of the property as he stared at the vision before him. "Tonny its' me. Fen, ya numpty!"

Stephen pulled the head piece back and Ton's eyes bugged out as he stalked around him muttering and plucking at the cloth. Then he turned to his soft touch, "Daddy, I need one. A real shadow outfit, I need one. NOW!"

Jack was already on his feet wiping his hands as he looked at his oldest child and he grinned, "Looks like a Harkness there."

"I don't know it I should be proud or grossed out that my old man checked out my package just then" Stephen said conversationally to Ianto, "But since it is Dad, I guess it was inevitable. Everyone gets the treatment."

"Huh?" Jack fawned, "You calling me a molester?"

"No Dad" Stephen rolled his eyes, "You just look at everyone's crotch, like Badger Dog. You can't help it, I know it's in the breeding. I do too. Packages are important status symbols."

Ton was walking with them and Ianto glanced buck at the mess then turned to look at Jack, "So. Red."

Jack grimaced.

"If you dig up that entire path for that cottage and placed some crazy paving you could do a wee fairy garden for that cottage's frontage I guess, you painted the roof bright red so add some white spots to make it a giant mushroom or something. Be a nice one for a family with wee girls. Won't waste the red pebbles either then, they can be used as wee borders or something."

Jack looked back and saw the potential as his brain already saw the fair gardens and fairy doors coming back into style.

"Babe?"

"Hmmmm?"

"Anything I like?"

Ianto swallowed and steeled himself, "Go wild Cariad."

The growl of excitement was in stereo as Ton leaned around him to lock eyes with Jack and in that moment Ianto knew the entire place was getting upgraded.

Ianto decided to go back to sorting clothes.

Much safer.


	66. attack of the shadow

Ton had his Shadow Man costume.

Nobody was immune although Ianto got goosed occasionally instead of the body slamming everyone else got. Ianto could not find words to explain the amusement in the gesture Ton had chosen to show his affection given it was what he watched his Daddy do every time he entered the kitchen so he obviously thought that was how you told Taddy he was lovely.

Ianto was washing the dishes, his preferred hand washing as he watched out the kitchen window in time to see the Toninator Shadow Man with Badger Shadow Dog slink through the corn, heading for the unsuspecting Daddy who was standing staring up at the roof of the next-door chalet.

Ianto was trying to work out what diabolical thing Jack was considering when he noticed the shadow ninja warriors bumbling along, and he wondered idly how Jack had managed to find a doggy one as well, his desire to please his wee man such a comfort to Ianto in his never ending depressive thoughts about leaving them behind.

Ianto stopped, the plate held tightly as Ninja Warrior Toninator Shadow Man went into pink panther slink mode, creeping forward and looking around like a pitcher checking the bases while Badger bumbled past to sniff a flower.

Jack was still oblivious to the impending attack.

Ninja Warrior Toninator Shadow Man crouched low and his hands went jazz for a second then the fingers waggled as he sized up his quarry and Jack reached back to absently scratch his arse.

Ianto placed the plate down and quietly pushed the window open to warn him and then he decided to wait and see what Ton was about to do as he had never seen this dance of doom before and he knew Stephen was watching from his chalet window he was leaning out to tell his father to stop thinking of something to do to his 'house' so they both now saw Ninja Warrior Toninator Shadow Man begin the attack.

It was a slow motion one.

Complete with weird sound effect noises as he chopped Jack at the knee and then swung a fist at Jack's stomach followed through with a head butt to his chest, none of the strikes actually touching his dad who screamed theatrically and pretended to feel each blow, then fall over to crawl away begging for mercy.

Stephen was roaring with mirth as Badger wandered over to look into Jack' face, obviously asking if he'd dropped something as Ton draped himself on his Daddy's back like a black turtle shell moving along.

Bloody mad the both of them.

Ianto looked back the Stephen's chalet and wondered again what Jack had been thinking about.

Went back to the dishes.


	67. still super

Ianto stared out the window and counted to ten slowly.

Really slowly.

He had spent the day at the school helping for Art Day and had come home to find Jack had carried out his own diabolical move on Stephen's Chalet.

_Gods, what will Fen say when he gets back next weekend._

Jack had painted a rainbow in the roof, a lovely one but he clearly hadn't thought through the effect a rainbow might have on the roof of a member of the armed forces so he decided to wait until Jack thought about it a bit.

"Do ya see it?" Jack said as he entered and stoop waiting for comment, "Think Babs will like it?"

"Babs will love it Cariad but Fen might go off on one a wee bit. Sort of spoils the 'don't ask don't tell' thing" Ianto replied calmly as he realised Jack was never gonna get it, "Especially since I think he's straight."

"Shit"

"Maybe of you write Babs' name or something so it can be easily identified as for her, then he can be proud to show support for his sister" Ianto said and then watched Jack race out the door

Twat.

"Twat" Ianto turned to see Owen standing there with Tosh, "Did he really paint that on Fen's roof?"

"He's fixing it now" Ianto smiled, "So, last visit?"

"Yeah, we bring her home this time" Tosh was excited, "This time next week we will be flying home from India with our daughter, Mae."

"Wonderful" Ianto smiled, "So glad the adoption agency came through for you like this, and the checks have been good?"

"Yeah, mild dwarfism, nothing affecting her heart or other organs. She doesn't even need braces, but as she grows she might need surgery, we can only see" Owen nodded, "Why we were able to get her, my medical licence helped."

"As did the stunning letter of support from the qualified child psychologist who will have such a hands-on part in her growth" Tosh grinned "Thank you Ianto, we finally saw the letter. You silver tongued devil."

"Silver? Gold more like" Owen snorted, "Christ almighty, it's really happening, ah you will love her. She's wonderful. So clever."

"Good" Ianto smiled, then watched Babs enter still wearing black, "Darling I think you can give up the sacking cloth now."

"Huh?"

"Mourning, would Greg want you to do that? Come on, he loved your vibrant self, stop with all the black although it is very Audrey Hepburn" he said and she looked down at herself.

"I could add a wee tutu or hoop skirt, I hadn't thought of that, pearls. Well, do I have chunky ones" she wandered off and Owen patted Ianto's knee.

"She's doing fine mate, lovely wee Babbit has come so far" Owen assured him and Ianto nodded.

"So delicate, she always was" he sighed.

"Ianto, she's a woman now, you've done your job. Give her room now, she has to stumble a wee bit" Tosh said gently, "She knows you will catch her, she has faith in you. Let her stumble. Yeah?"

Ianto nodded as he leaned back and agreed, his kids were all going to be caught in his loving arms.

Every time.

Super Tad was always ready.


	68. to be loved

Ninja Warrior Toninator Shadow Man was on the case.

Ianto had given up on the gardening, a surprisingly lovely day called for a rare bout of sunbathing and he was currently lying by the pool listening to the school children playing in the playground down in the village. He had no idea Ton had come home for lunch and was currently stalking him in Shadow Mode.

Ton was considering what to do to the unsuspecting Grup when he saw something.

He crouched to look closer and he saw it more clearly now.

His Taddy was so lovely.

Ianto had fallen asleep, breathing deeply with one hand on his chest as it slowly rose and fell, the other lax at his side. Ton had never really thought about Taddy as a person, he was a Taddy and it was now as he watched that it occurred to him that his Taddy was a person.

Just a normal person.

_No, he wasn't._

Ianto woke to a large heavy shadow draping itself over him and he laughed as he cuddled his beloved little boy, "Hey there. Did you see your brother in there?"

As Ianto spoke he glanced at the baby monitor sitting by his chair and Ton hummed, "Still sleeping."

"Ah, thanks love" Ianto kissed him and stroked his face then saw something was wrong, "What is it love?"

"Taddy? What did you want to be when you grew up?" Ton asked, "You were a boy once right? What did you want to be?"

"Ah" Ianto hugged him and shifted so Ton was more on the lounger than him, "Let me see. I wanted to be a fireman once, then one day I saw a Heddlu Officer save a little boy in a car accident and thought that was cool. I wanted to make a difference and be important. I guess I wanted to be me."

"Yeah?" Ton asked, "You did?"

"I have lived in a Firehouse and I have saved you from a car accident. I make a difference to you and I know I am important to all my babies, as well as Dad. I wanted to be loved, special and needed. I guess really, deep down I wanted to be me. And I made it."

Ton considered this for a while, "I know what I will be."

Ianto was nervous, "Really? What will you be?"

"I want to be needed for cuddles" Ton said softly, "Like you. I want to be always wanted for cuddles."

"Oh Tonny" Ianto's heart almost exploded, "It is a wonderful thing to be."

Ton hummed as he cuddled his Taddy.


	69. and here we are again

Jack entered the house to find Ton asleep on the sofa snoring with his belly exposed where he had been scratching at it. He was still in his togs so he had been swimming with his Taddy.

Jack headed to the nursery where the wee man was also asleep, his hair still wet from having joined his brother and Taddy in the pool for a wee cooling dip, Jack now sad he had missed an opportunity to watch wee Ifan splashing.

Then he realised he could hear the shower running, followed by a soft voice singing as Ianto washed the chemicals out of his hair. Jack was going to ask if the wee ones had enjoyed their swim but when he entered the bathroom all thoughts fled as he looked at his naked husband reaching up to stretch. Apple shampoo filled the room with a wonderful smell, the bubbles cascading down that taut body also pleasing as the fuzzy hair below Ianto's navel caught some of those errant bubbles. The lovely big dick was semi-erect and Jack called softly to alert Ianto to his presence, Ianto turning to look at him with an open smile, "Cariad!"

"Hey baby" Jack crooned as he got a towel and waited to dry his love, the armful of Welsh snogginess wonderful as Ianto plastered him against the wall and kissed him enthusiastically.

"Ton decided what he wants to be when he grows up" Ianto said as he fumbled with Jack's jeans and Jack tried to focus.

"Yeh?"

"Loved" Ianto replied as he finally got his hands inside those pants, "He wants to be loved. Isn't that lovely, he wants to be cuddled and loved."

Jack seized Ianto and turned them so Ianto had the counter to lean against, lifting him so his hands could slide around his arse and they kissed some more.

"Jack, I need a seeing to" Ianto demanded and Jack lifted him, carrying him to the bed where they sank into the bedding, kissing and exploring.

"Oh baby" Jack sighed as he slid home, "We all want to be cuddled and loved, I am so lucky I have you, so damned lucky of course he wants this. Gods Ianto, I love you so much."

"Then shut up and show me" Ianto growled, "Too much talking, bloody do me!"

Jack laughed and obliged.

After all, no words were needed really.

.

.

.

.

And chap 69. You know that means this section is ended. Don't worry, more is coming, I know you all want to meet Tosh and Owen's baby. After all .... Owen is going to be a hilarious first time Dad.


	70. spoilers

OK, so the new baby is here. I've jumped ahead six months and Mae is now firmly in the Sato-Harper household making Owen feel inadequate as a Daddy while she silently views the entire world as a strange thing indeed.

Walter and Babs spend the week days in town at the Grandys while filming and Fen is living on-base as his life in the air force starts. With the three older children all grown and gone into the big world except for Ton and Ifan, Ianto is focusing on the next wave of babies and Owen is finding the Mae is slowly responding to Impy and the wee Monkey Hart even if not to the adults around her.

Ianto is guiding as gently and lovingly as he can but sees Owen's dismay at the lack of affection.

It's time to bring those chicks back to the nest.

Ianto feels the fracture of the family keenly and as you know, I do love to pull those strings.

Come on over .... Ianto's Nest needs some feathering.


End file.
